A recent study found that 35% of men , wooden nickel

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Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor

The patient before you was a goat.

Instead of anesthetic he has you watch PBS.

He has an assistant named Igor.

The local bar association named him "Client of the Year."

Whenever he leaves the room his nurse makes duck noises.

During surgery he has to keep repeating that "thigh bone connected to the knee bone" song.

He asks you to turn your head and cough during an eye exam.

You can beat him in a game of Operation.

All his Medical books are from the Time-Life "Do-it-Yourself Series."

He has an office sharing arrangement with a mortician.

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FORGIVING YOUR ENEMIES!!! Forgiving Enemies The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear. "Ms. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' "I don't have any." "Ms. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you? "Ninety-three." "Ms. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to ninety-three and not have an enemy in the world." The little sweetheart of a lady teetered down the aisle, very slowly turned around & said "It's easy. I just outlived the son of a guns."

===================================== Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Porsche, fully loaded." The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio." The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "we are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and he dances in a gay bar." The other three men grew silent as he continued. "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Porsche, and a stock portfolio."

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George Dubya was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One". The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them"! The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved YOUR butt from drowning!"

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