How Could Someone Do This To Their Own Mom? I Don't Know But I Did~A Regret~

Ok,I'll try to keep this short. My parents are divorced. I'm 18 and they divorced when I was a year old. I never knew them together. I have been living with my dad the past 10 years. I'm alot closer to my dad than my mom. But,I wish I had a relationship with my mom. I get kinda jealous seeing other moms and daughters get along. My mom lives about an hour and a half away. So,I hardly ever see her. Well,last Sunday I went to visit my mom. I had planned on staying a week. Well,I only made it til Tuesday. I had called my dad and asked him to pick me up. Well,he wasn't able to. But,I was getting home sick so I started crying. I usually only stay like 2 or 3 days when I go to my moms. I don't like going out of town. I get very home sick. So,I barely ever go out of town. So,I got upset because I couldn't leave. So,I ignored my mom and my stepdad everytime they tried to talk to me. And,my mom started getting mad. She gets very upset when I ignore her. Well,my stepdad had just gotten home from work and he didn't really feel like driving another few hours to bring me home. The next thing I know,my stepdad comes in my room and tells me to pack my stuff and he would bring me home. He said it kinda in an angry voice. Like,the next thing I hear my mom is crying. Now,my mom never cries. It takes alot for her to cry. So,then when I was getting my stuff ready I started crying. About 4 weeks ago my mom had a major surgery on her neck. So,right now she's wearing a brace and she's not feeling to good yet. She's still recovering. I can't believe I was so rude to get my mom all upset. I haven't seen or heard from my mom since Tuesday and I still get upset. I ended up ruining everything for myself. I ended up missing my stepbrothers wedding which I now regret. I missed helping out my pregnant sister get ready for her baby and now I missing out on time with my mom. I have been so sad about it and I have no one to talk to. What should I do? I feel like it's to soon to call my mom. I really don't know what to say to her. She once said I'm breaking her heart. I guess I really don't know how to show my love for my parents. I love my parents especially my mom I just don't know how to show it.

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