The following are purportedly a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (that is, Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? What for? He can't see my license plate.
Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car? Always wear a condom.
When driving through fog, what should you use? Your car.
What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? The color.
How do you deal with heavy traffic? Heavy psychedelics.
What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? Carry loaded weapons.
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