Clever Thoughts"
Why beat around the bush when you can go right through it?
Children learn what they live, men usually have to be retrained.
Life is like surfing, you might catch a good wave and it will be a fun ride, but watch out for those sharks.
If you get in a car accident, don't forget your car.
People with large noses can smell the better things in life.
Why are sports grounds called stands when everyone sits?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. If it still doesn't work, redefine success.
Where there's a will there's a way, but what if your name is Will?
No matter how hard you try, you can't fall off the floor!
Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken.
Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.
I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that.
I see your IQ test results were negative.
Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
================================================================================
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny. ''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'' The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.''
Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
Little Johnny then says, ''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
================================================================================
Prayers For The Modern World
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lord, help me to stop worrying about insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:30:01 am EST.
Lord, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they're usually not my fault.
Lord, help me be less rebellious, but let me do it my way.
Lord help me not be a perfectionist. Did I spell that right?
Lord, help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them are hypersensitive jerks.
Lord, keep me open to others' ideas, wrong though they may be.
Lord give me patience, and I need it NOW!
Lord, help me to not try to run everything. But feel free to ask me if you need some help.
Lord, help me to finish everything I sta
Lord, help me slow down and notrushthrougheverythingIdoAmen!
================================================================================
The Little Things
Too often we don't realize what we have until it is gone; Too often we wait too late to say "I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones we hold dearest to our hearts; And we allow foolish things to tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we let unimportant things into our minds; And then it's usually too late to see what made us blind.
So be sure that you let people know how much they mean to you; Take that time to say the words before your time is through.
Be sure that you appreciate everything you've got And be thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot.
===============================================================================
A DIFFERENCE A man was walking along a beach, when he noticed in the distance the shape of someone moving back and forth, from the water to the beach and back again. He watched this with interest for a moment, then hurried his pace to see what the person was doing.
As he got closer, he saw what had happened. Literally thousands of starfish had been washed up onto the beach after a recent storm. Beautiful five pointed stars, pink and tan, laying on the sand, drying out and dying. The figure he had seen was that of an elderly woman as she moved slowly, but purposefully, picking up a starfish and then walking into the surf and lowering it into the water, then back to collect another starfish and carry it to the water.
The man picked his way through the massive marine graveyard until he reached the woman, and asked her "There are so many starfish here, how can what you're doing make a difference?"
The old woman looked up at him for a moment after depositing another starfish into the water. "It makes a difference to this one," she replied.
You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  27583 ( Click here )
Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
|
