Thank You Linda and Jungabel and Everyone Else ~Lady Phoenix~

This may be long, and I do apologise in advance. A lot is going through my head and I'm feeling a need to let some of it out.

It's been a long <almost> two weeks. We all have times like these though, don't we?

I remember that last day, before the first stroke. I was driving to work, minding my own business. It was hot, yes. My blood sugars were up, yes. But as I glanced at my arm that had gone numb, my thought was, "well, this is interesting." I never panic in unusual situations. I deal with things logically and straightforward. But two miles down the road, the other arm went numb as I pulled into work. I knew it wasn't my blood sugar at that point, but..I talked myself into believing it was.

Long story short, I found myself in the emergency room that day instead of work. Before getting there, I had lost my ability to speak. Things are fuzzy though, because I just kind of blanked out. A lot of what I know is second hand from mom and the kind hearted lady who drove me from work. After I got my senses back, the doctor confirmed what I already knew. What mom already knew. We knew the signs. The symptoms. The behavior of the human body as it goes through a stroke. See, we lost my dad almost three years ago to them.

The strangest things go through one's head when the mind realises the body is sick. For me, there were questions to myself. How do I keep my job? How do I pay these medical bills? And worst...how do I tell the man I love that his woman, at 32, who'd just the day before spent the entire day at Six Flags riding rollercoasters...had a stroke. Just how do I do that.

Well, like I do most everything. I spit it out...said, here's what happened. And I will be fine. I will be fine.

And now the point of my post. These long two weeks...several more strokes added...tests at the hospital. And the near unbareable waiting. I've said things here at USM I haven't voiced to people around me. I've been tired. I've been depressed. I've been scared. All very difficult for me to admit.

But a few people have opened arms and hearts to me. Jungabel....Linda...LadyLuck....Penny....Love ALways Diana. And so many others. Forgive my poor memory. Prayers have been said. Encouragement given. And the precious gift of empathy offered. Just being able to talk here has helped me. It has been my rehabilitation. And tonight, after this very long day, I come online just to read some stories, and find I have been given an award.

I was touched...and speechless. And as I write this, I must say thank you, Linda. Thank you Jungabel. Thank you everyone who offered support. It is not I who deserves this award, it's all of you. But I will guard it, and treasure it. And when I feel down, any time on this long journey I'm on, I will look at it. And I hope you know, it does make a difference.

Sincerely

Lady Phoenix

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