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~Everyone Wants To Kill The Monkey But The Monkey Wants To Live~

  Author:  30264  Category:(Fiction) Created:(7/10/2002 7:23:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1125 times)

There once was a monkey named Jim Bob who lived in the jungles of South America.He was a proud little monkey with alot of monkey friends and family.He roamed through the jungle as free as he could be until one day he heard a noise...footsteps....lots of footsteps and mumbline.Jim Bob was scared he had never seen or heard anything like this before.So he stopped and listened and seen something coming through the shadows..it was people!Jim Bob quickly screamed for all of his fellow monkeyz to be warned incase these people were here to cause harm.As he screamed he jumped onto another branch but he slipped and fell 15 feet to the ground!One of the men spotted him and shot at him with some kind of weapon but missed.Jim Bob got up and started to move but started to feel dizzy and faint and didnt understand why.It just so happened that ole Jim Bob had been hit with some sleepin monkey dartz.BAM!Took a shot right in the butt and started to run again but suddenly fell into a deep sleep........When Jim Bob woke up he was in a strange world with strange noises and people and animals.He was very frightened and curious and excited at the same time when he got a first glimpse of this new world.Jim Bob got up and moved around and noticed there was something blocking him from getting out.He screamd and squeled as loud as he could.He jumped around until he got tired and realised that this just wasnt working.After while Jim Bob kinda got used to this new world but still didnt like it a whole heck of a lot.I meen he had to poop in the corner where everyone could see him.One day this little brat kid wondered off from his parents and came over to Jim Bobs cage.The kid started throwing pieces of candy at him until Jim Bob got mad and started screaming.A zoo keeper came over and moved the kid but the kid sneaked back over there and started throwing more candy.....well now ole Jim Bob pulled a slick one...Jim Bob figured since he didnt have any other way of defending himself he thought he might poop in his hand and throw it.So thats just what he did.He pooped right in his hand and threw it right at the kids face and got it all in his hair and eyes!The kid ran to his mommy crying like a little baby and the mom looked over at Jim Bob and he was just a grinnin like a fat kid with cookies....:D.....Jim Bob later on seen other monkeyz getting the same abuse as he was so he pooped in his hand and threw it in their cage showing them that was the best weapon.So soon the kids at the zoo were all starting to have poop in their hair thanx to the smart allic monkeyz..lol..The parents stopped bringing their kids to the zoo and the monkeyz got more rest and relaxation.Jim Bob was happy that his plan got rid of the brats.Now all he had to do was figure out how to get out of this place.During some of his zoo time he made friends with a couple of other monkeyz.One was named Wussy and the other was named Cleetus.He didnt much like the other monkeyz cuz they were either old or grouchy.His cage was right by Cleetus's and right across from Wussys so he could talk to them whenever he wanted.Jim Bob had been in this zoo for almost 2 months when he started getting very sick of it but still was hopeless for escaping.I meen what was he gonna do chew through the metal?One day this little midget fella named Willy came to the zoo and started checkin out all the monkeyz and everything.He came over and came Jim Bob a bannana and Jim Bob knew that this dude was nice.So he asked the midget if he could get him out and the midget was like "OMG A TALKING MONKEY!" and Jim Bob was like ya I can talk but so what thats not the point.The point is is that I was in the jungle minding my own buisness when these men came and shot me and brought me in here and caged me up for nothing!I did nothing wrong im innocent!The midget was confused and angry and started to yell at the zoo keeperz but Jim Bob told him to be quiet and to keep it a secret.Jim Bob told Willy to sneak in tonite and bring a saw with him so he can cut the bars and Willy agreed and went home.When it was about midnight Willy brought a lock pick and broke in the zoo and looked for Jim Bobs cage and found it and went over to him.Jim Bob told him to cut and cut and if he got tired Jim Bob would take over for him and so on and so forth.So they were cutting for a while and finally got enough cut off for Jim Bob to get out and right as he was starting to run away with Willy he heard a voice saying "Hey man where you goin?"He looked around and seen that Wussy and Cleetus were wide awake from all the noise but everyone else was asleep.He knew he couldnt just leave them there but he heard a noise from down the hall and heard a voice shouting "Hey whos in there?"Willy and Jim Bob were scared so they began to run but Wussy and Cleetus starting saying "Please dont leave without us bro!"But Jim Bob just looked at them and said "Im sorry I cant!"So Willy and Jim Bob took off and got in the car and escaped.Jim Bob had absolutely no clue where he was and all he knew is that he lived in the jungle.And told Willy that there were darker complected people that talked alot faster then he did.Willy knew just where to go so he got a plane ticket and put Jim Bob in an animal case and went to South America.When they got there he got Jim Bob out of his case and asked him where exactly he was supposed to go and Jim Bob recognized alot of this area so he told Willy to follow him into the jungle.So after walking for about 2 hours or so they heard another noise.To Jim Bob and Willys surprise another monkey jumped out.It was Jim Bobs cousin Raspis!He told raspis about the awful zoo and how he made some new friends just like him and that he felt bad about leaving them so Raspis heard all this and went back and got his entire family of monkeyz!Thats about 30 monkeys!So they all started marching back to the airport where Willy was going to take them back to america to that awful zoo to free his friends but he didnt know how to load all the monkeyz onto cargo.He told the monkeyz to stay put and there was a local pet store where he had to buy 32 monkey cases for all the monkeyz and he already had a back home plane ticket so he didnt worry about that.He loaded up all the monkeyz the next day after sleeping on the ground all night uncomfortablly and went back to America to that awful place they call the zoo.When they got off the plane he had 32 monkeyz to unload and when he did they were ready to kill!He rented a mini van and smooshed all the monkeyz in there and introduced them to air conditioning.The monkeyz were amazed but were uncomfortable for 2 hours of riding.When they finally reached the zoo Willy and Jim Bob pointed out the doors to go into.The monkeyz furiously got out of the van and started running towards the doors screaming and pooping!Willy started the van and Jim Bob said "hey where you goin midget?!"Willy said "Ill be right back Jim" and winked.As the monkeyz got to the door the zoo keeperz started screaming in fear and got their tranqualizer guns out and started shooting!The monkeyz were just too fast for them although they shot about 5 or 6 but the rest of the monkeyz were storming the place beating up on zoo keepers when Jim Bob suddenly pooped in his hand and threw it at one of them.The other monkeyz were amazed and seen that that was a smart idea and they all started doing it.They all pooped in their hands and threw it at the zoo keepers!The place stunk like out house but the monkeyz just giggled and screamed and laughed!Jim Bob spotted Cleetus's and Wussy's cages and started beating on it trying to open it!He couldnt get it open so it went to each of the 10 zoo keepers that were beaten up on the ground gettin pooped on and found the keys and tried them all until he found the right ones.When he finally got Wussy and Cleetus free he said come on guyz lets go.He noticed that there were 6 monkeyz that had been injured and tranqualized so he said "Nobody gets left behind!"Just then the cops showed up and started shooting some kind of gas grenades into the zoo and the monkeyz all fled!Jim Bob ran out of the zoo knowing that he couldnt just leave him family that would be worse then leaving his friends.Just then Willy showed up on a zero turn lawn mower with chrome plated rims and a v 6 truck motor installed with 2 mini guns bolted onto the sides.Jim Bob laughed and said "What are you doing Willy?"He said "Just trust me!".Willy stormed into the zoo on his 110 mph lawn mower and started shooting up the place with his twin mini guns not shooting to kill just shooting to injure or scare away the police before they take Jim Bobs monkey family members!He was screaming and laughing all at the same time cuz unknowingly Big Willy used to be in the police force but was kicked out for being so little and was seeking vengance on the cops anyways.So as he was shooting the cops were ducking and Jim Bob and his family came in and rescued his injured family members and took them outside.He asked Willy "Where do we go?"Willy said "My house is 2 blocks down and its a green house on the left 2 houses down"So Jim Bob leaded his family and Wussy and Cleetus to Willys house and went in safely.Meanwhile Willys still back their shooting happily when the cops started shooting back so Willy took off like a big sissy!He quickly rode his super charged v 6 lawn mower home safely to see how the monkeyz were doing.Willy siad "Hurry to the air port,I have some extra dog cases to put the other monkeyz in!"So all the monkeyz picked up a carrying animaly case and all got in the mini van which they were crowded and some had to ride on top but they didnt really care they knew the cops were after Willy.So Willy stomped on it and went to the airport and got out of the van telling the monkeyz to stay put while he got a ticket.They did so while Willy ran up there to see if there were any planes that had alot of extra cargo space that was heading down to South America and luckily enough he found one and he bought a ticket because not many people bought any so there were enough to sell there at the airport.So he got in his mini van and drove the monkeyz over to the plane and put them all in their cases and one by one he had a man load them into the cargo bay.The man asked "What does a feller need with all these monkeyz?"Willy just replied "Mind your own buisness stinky!"So willy got all loaded up and took a 12 hour flight to South America where this time the plane landed in a differnet area but Jim Bob knew where to go still along with the rest of his family members.So they all go out stretching from the cramped up flight and started running back to the jungle and Willy followed since he had nowhere else to go.The monkeyz asked him "Hey did you remember to get a flight ticket back home?" Willy just looked at them puzzled."Uhhhhh...nope"The monkeyz said oh well Willy you can live here happily with us and our new friends Wussy and Cleetus!Willy was happy that he had gotten away from the cops and knew that if he went back home he would just get arrested anyways so he just decided to live with the monkeyz.So the monkeyz dressed him into a nice cool tarzan outfit and painted him brown and teached him how to sound like a monkey and since he was a midget noone could tell the difference.lol.A couple weeks later Jim Bob was out searching for bananas when he heard another noise.He thought to himself "Oh no not again".So he looked around and seen nothing.He waited a minute and all of a sudden *BLOP!*Poop landed right in his face!He heard laughter and Willy jumped down from the branch above and said "You're not the only one who can do that!"

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 7/10/2002 7:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 19927    kill the monkey!! kill the monkey!! kill the monkey!!!  
Date: 7/10/2002 7:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 25856    oh...my God.....*shivers*  
Date: 7/10/2002 7:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 19927    lol..he has quite an imagination doesn't he?  
Date: 7/10/2002 7:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 46721    "BacksAwaySlowly"  
Date: 7/10/2002 7:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 39272    wow..i just read that ALL...um..very uh..interesting and creative..i like the name jim bob! and i like the idea of throwing poop in peoples faces when they piss u off!  
Date: 7/10/2002 7:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 30264    ROCK ON!*poops in his hand and throws it at everyone*  
Date: 7/10/2002 9:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 55903    Very creative. That's why most zoos keep the monkeys behind glass. - ladyladonna  

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