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i kinda want to lose my memory right about...NOW ~PixieAngel~

  Author:  8374  Category:(Depression) Created:(7/3/2002 1:35:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1102 times)

Yeah..I'm not sure is this depression..not really suicide..but a thing that I really want to lose my memory of the past 16 years of my life. The childhood memories..the lovely memories of my sister moving out..this and that..that and this. But doesn't anyone ever want to lose their memory and just start all over? I just got bad news yesterday that I might have to repeat two classes next year and all of these things are swirling in my mind. what if i don't pass? what if i don't graduate? what if i don't have a future? what if what if what if? what if i don't go to college? what if this what if that?? I just wish that I wasn't so dumb. I mean c'mon..when I drive I don't know how to get to the local market which I have been to ever since I can remember and because of that I am made fun of everytime it's mentioned...I don't know how to tell someone's mother how to get me home when they give me a ride home. Yea I'm negative about myself..and I hate it..but all of these things surrounding me..bad grades..bad memory..it's just making me BELIEVE that i am really stupid and dumb...blah...maybe i should go under my desk and hit my head right now =\

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 7/3/2002 1:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 57424    i did lose my memories of my childhood. i was in an accident when i was 13 and cant remember a thing from then back. losing those was one of the worst things to ever happen to me. for the last 17 years ive tried to find everyone who knew me then to fill in the blanks. losing ones memory really sucks.

Darklord
Date: 7/3/2002 1:47:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 8374    Darklord..I'm sorrie that had to happen to you..but I don't know about me..don't know would that suck or not =\  
Date: 7/3/2002 4:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 55191    You can spend your whole life wondering about all the "what if"s that COULD have been, but weren't. Meanwhile, life is moving on and leaving u behind. While u are being depressed and thinking about how dumb u are, you are most likely not doing any school work so u DON'T fail those courses next year, working now to make it easier for later. It sounds like you need to look on the brighter side of life. I said that to someone once, and all they could say that there wasn't a brighter side of their life to look on, and right off the top of my head, i could tell him at least ten things i envied him for, ten things i liked him for and ten things he had that i wanted. So when u say your life it really bad, you are only comparing it to a standard that isn't your own - maybe u campare yourself to the rest of the people in your grade at school, and all u see are people who all have better memories, who all are in the classes a level above you. But there must be people who are in your class too - there wouldn't be just a special class made up for "That dumb Pixie Angel". You are not the only one at your level, and there is always someone who is worse off than you, always something in your life which is good if u look at it the right way. Start the day with a smile and it might just be returned to you and stay there for the rest of the day. - Girly Eyez
Date: 7/3/2002 8:07:00 AM  From Authorid: 42522    I wish I could do the same thing Pixie Angel. Im in the same situation. I feel for ya =)  
Date: 7/3/2002 8:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 46139    You know don't feel bad because I was just like you
infact I still have trouble with giving directions
and people still laugh at me.It takes time I remember
people giving me rides home and me not knowing how to
tell them to get to my own house.It wasn't until I
learned how to drive that I learned how to get to my
own house;then after that I learned how to get to
my own house;then to the store and then other places.
However I still don't know how to take alternate routes
to anything or if I'm riding with someone and they take
me somewhere where I have never been before or they have
taken me several times I won't remember how to get there.
My husband got angry at me the other day because
I was driving and I kept asking him which way to turn to
get on the highway and we went the same way everyday but I
never really paid attention because i wasn't driving
and that might be your problem to;as for school
I had the same worries when I graduated or was about to graduate.
You have to realise that worrying wont make the situation any better;
if you have to take the courses over than take them over in the summer
so that you can graduate,find out if there is anything
that you can do to be able to graduate with your class if not then
take summer classes and everything will workout.I'm
not the smartest person in the world and I'm in college
the most important thing is DON'T GIVE UP!! stick
to those rules and you shall never fail.

PS.Yes I have wished I lost my memory sometimes because
there are somethings in my life that I'm better off
not knowing and I know my life would be much better
if I could forget. *OSHEN*
  

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