to much depression for a thirteen year old.

i been having trouble for a long time but i didn't realized it was very bad. at my house everyday was some kind of problem. the first was that for the first time i started getting good grades and my mom said good but then started putting presser on me u know i had to do better in school i tried but i started staying up at night not being able to know what they where talking about in class. then knowing my brothers half brother died in the twin towers on september 11. and teachers acting like i was a retard that made me so mad and all that presser started getting to me. my long hairs roots started to get gray then i stated to feel sad cause more personal things kept coming my way. i started to eat more and sometime i wouldn't even want to eat at all. i couldn't even sleep at night i would just stay up thinking about everything that happen that day. my energy was so weak i couldn't do anything that i use to do. my behavior started to be angry, mad ,sad, rude ,not caring about nobody. then i found out my grades started droping i got so scard that i couldn't even dare to face my mom. so i just sat alone in my room and i thought about everything that has happento me that i didn't deserve i got angry so i got the sharpest tool that was near me and started to make red beaded line all down my wrist. i didn't tell nobody about this then one day i started getting a habit cutting my wrist constanly for six mounths. my wrist became to be so dark you could even notice. my mom found out and she started to say things i got mad so mad .then she took me to a pychatrist but i don't like going and i take antidepressants it helps but i don't feel like the old me the very happy onr that enjoy everyday that passed by. but it is better than cutting your wrist i stop doing it but i been thing about it but i can't run away from my problems i have to face them and that will make happier. im just 13.