Ok, ok.LOL
Moms are going to love this along with dads.
I was sitting around thinking about the book that I'm writing. A thought occured, I need something familiar but, cute in a certian part. I need a part about my Kiddos that shows my Intellect as a creative parent.
LOL...ok so maybe not Intellegent.
Parents will totaly understand these. I am a very realistic parent and being in Nursing, I explain everything, even the proper names for poo and the nether regions. Collin and I feel that we are on a life long Journey that we hope never ends with Our Spectacular boys!
Things you never Imagined that you would say or have to explain or experience with your Children.
*Mommy, Daddy Swallowed a bear or a tiger, I think he died and it's trying to get out!! No, Daddy sounds like that when he sleeps
*Don't eat your bugers, worms are going to crawl out your Hiney!
*No, babies aren't born as basketballs, and mommys dont poop them out their Bo Hiney!
*The cat dosn't use the tolite like us cause it dosn't know how to flush.
*Feeding the dog our food will make him poop on your bed.
* Daddy, daddy, mommies fell off! No, mine didn't fall off, mommies dont have those. Mommy, then you can't potty? Yes mommy can potty, Mommies go a special way. Like the dog? No, were like camels.
*No, mommy loves Breakfast in bed. Then why are you throwing up mommy?
*Does daddy really work? Yes, are you sure? Yes. How do you know? Cause he leaves everyday and gets a check each week. He gets paid to sleep all day?
*Why can't Ner-Ner (grandmaw) walk. Noone ever taught her how. Really? No she is just Lazy. Really? No. She got sick and her legs just dont work now.
*Do not eat your Poo!
* Why did you cut off all of your brothers hair!? We were playing army, he had to have the Army haircut. WHAT? OMG! (Son says) Hahaha, its funny! Well mommy thinks you need the army haircut too. (Both recieved burrs)
*Mommy did you eat a basketball? No, that is a baby in my tummy. you were in there too once. I was? Yes. (Son)I bet he has food all over him.
*Mommy are you going poo? No, mommy just had to tinkle. Oh, let me see if you go poo like a big mommy, I'll get you a cookie! (Cookies are potty training rewards)
*No, you didn't come from eating Watermelons.
*Don't eat the dog food! Why? Cause, you'll turn into a dog.
* Finds marbles in Dirty Diaper.
*Mommy, there is a cat attacking and eating our cat! No, that is how the mommy cat has kittens. What? You mean she eats a big cat and then poops out a lot of little ones?
*Don't tie up your brother naked!
*Mommy did you get hurt? No, why? Cause it looks like you fell and got to big boo boos on your chest.
*Never knew the name of Lo Mein, I told them they were worms. Often they asked if they could go to the place we eat worms at.
*Yes, we eat and cook Chickens, not the cat.
*No, When you chew off and eat your fingernails it wont make fingers grow in your tummy.
*No, we wont turn into a cow if we eat a hamburger.
*How does mommy look? Pretty, but, your butt looks big.
*Don't feed your brother dog food! But! I want a new Puppy!
*No. i'm not a witch, but, I do have eyes in the back of my head!
*What are you doing to my hair? Im looking for your other eyes!
*Mommy when do I stop going poo? You don't, you do it to get rid of food. Then I'm not going to eat anymore!
*If I died could you make another me?
*No, choclate dosn't come from Poo!
*Can I burp alot and real loud if I promise to say I'm sorry?
*MOMMY, you got rid of daddy! No, daddy is at work!
*Mommy, I think dad is dead! No, hes sleeping.
*Mommy, I think daddy is crazy. Why? Cause he said so, and he is talking to the mower.
* When the dog dies dose that mean we eat him?
* No rice isn't maggotts.
*Do we eat people? We eat cows.
*Do boys have babies? No. Why not? They don't know how.
Well, I guess I'll post more as they come to me...LOL...isn't parent hood full of Not so dull moments?.LOL
HUGS TX How it changed my life:It makes you thank and be thankful. Kids really do say the darndest things.LOL.Parents too! You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author: 33922 ( Click here )
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