Signs That You Definately DON'T Have ESP **Frankenstein

1. When your wife asks you to hand her an ashtray, you look at her blankly and ask her what she wants.

2. You convince yourself that a ball of yarn is the same thing as a psiball if you just look at it right.

3. You think that everyone is craving catfish for some strange reason.

4. You cheat when practicing telekinesis by moving things with your hands.

5. Here's a clue. There is nowhere in the pyrokinesis handbook where it says anything at all about Zippos or butane.

6. You predict that you're going to die two days ago.

7. Someone asks you to read their palm and when you look at it, you can't stop giggling.

8. You predicted that Regis Philbin would be the next Pope.

9. You willed Bob Barker to get neutered in 1990 and it didn't work. Poor Diane!

10. You use Chinese restaurant menus as Tarot cards. Sweet and sour pork means to be careful with your finances. Happy Family Platter means to be extra careful with your finances since you've just paid twenty dollars for a five dollar meal. When you reach into your pocket and there is only a single dollar bill, it means to go to Taco Bell and get a bean burrito.

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