I'm confused, What the heck am I doing

i've been coming to this website for a couple weeks now and thought it to be decent, i did some research and was wondering, my mothers side of the family use to have special powers, my grandmother was a psycic(spelling?), My uncle use to practice Voo-doo, and my mother can contact spirts, I thought to myself yeah right whatever, but last night i was sitting in my room, in a comfortable position, crossed my legs, sat on the floor and lit a candle, i closed my eyes and started to relax, i wanted to meditate, so i tried to put my hands together almost like i was praying but the thing was i couldn't get them together, it felt like some kind of wall or invisble thing was there preventing them and it was getting bigger too, i was reading on this website people are saying that it could be psy energy or maaybe ki energy balls forming? I have no clue, I want to be able to control this wall and form it into a ball, Can someone help me i want to learn about this stuff now, and hopefully use it to heal others, thanks

it made me open my eyes up to a whole new horizon