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Should I just let it go or try to be his friend?

  Author:  34758  Category:(Discussion) Created:(5/12/2002 9:48:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1520 times)

Hi everyone, A few years ago I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was about 20, and I had been friends with a guy for about 5 years. We were BEST friends and we had a deep caring for each other. Well, he told me he was in love with me after 3 years. Well, a couple years later, I thought I'd give it a chance. We only lasted about 4 months, and he was just way too into me and I wasn't into him that way. I had mistaken my level of friendship and loneliness to wanting to be with him. Well, I ended it. Then I decided to get back together with im, then ended it, and so on. This was a cycle that went on for a long time and I tore him up. Well, he just recently finally got over me. It has been 3 years since we were last together and he's finally over me! Well, now when I IM him to see how he's doin, he ignores me. It's like, i still care about him as a friend and I want to see how he is doing, but he ignores me, and it's like he doesn't CARE about me at all, even though I've known him since I was 16 and we were always real close.. (i'm almost 24 now.) I don't know.. do I let him know this bothers me or just let him be? I always looked at him as someone I'd know forever... I did some messed up things to him and didn't really show that I cared at the time, and now that i'm in love with my boyfriend, i'm realizing how much i must have hurt him... i don't know what to do. please help!

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Replies:      
Date: 5/12/2002 10:00:00 PM  From Authorid: 49277    well im sure it did hurt him but i think if you still wanna be friends you should ask him to give it a chance.. and tell him your sorry!  
Date: 5/12/2002 10:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 38849    Hmm... I'm not exactly sure what to tell you. I'd say, you can let him know you are willing to be friends, but you don't want to "press the issue." --  
Date: 5/12/2002 11:01:00 PM  From Authorid: 7089    it really boils down to what would you do if he'd done you this way...you can't fault him for returning the favor, even if you do still care, & even if you're not looking to hook up w/him again. you know how you feel, you know your intentions, but if he's finally moving on you should too. jmo tho. cheers,  
Date: 5/12/2002 11:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 49739    I would talk to him about it and get his opinions about. It never hurts to talk. HayKory22  
Date: 5/12/2002 11:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 34758    thanks guys! yeah, i have moved on, but i would really like to keep in touch with him, and be on civil terms.. i sent him an email and if he replies, cool, if not, that's cool too. thanks everyone!  
Date: 5/13/2002 1:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 53052    been in the same kind of situation in life!! loved my best friend we dated for a very short time he then went back to his ex-GF(and they arn't even together anymore) unfortunately i still really care about this guy but he hasen't spoked to me since a few weeks after we broke up, i still care very much for him and miss him... but unfortunately... we don't talk and don't see eachother anymore... if it's anything like my situation, you two may not be good friends again...honestly may not be friends in his eyes.... it hurts i know.. i've been there!!  
Date: 5/13/2002 2:37:00 AM  From Authorid: 46515    Well, unfortunantly, when a friendship goes into that romance zone, it can damage the friendship. Try to see things from his eyes. He's been hurt too much, and probably just wants to move on. Maybe in the years to come, it may be possible again. For now, you tried, and I'd let him be.  
Date: 5/13/2002 2:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 42945    well it sounds like you hurt him a lot hun and maybe you need to give him time and space to decide if he wants to be still your friend....good luck...hugs  
Date: 5/13/2002 5:44:00 AM  From Authorid: 48993    put yourself in his shoes for a moment , think of how much you would be hurt , i am sure he felf used and abused , and have you ever told him sincerely that your sorry for hurting him and dragging him arouind like a rag doll? ..... if he was that close to you in a friendship manner , he still will be your firend. call him , write him a "real" letter send him a real card . tell him your sorry and you still care about him as a friend and you just dont want to loose contact with him ...... the ball is in your court , imo an instant message isnt the same as a phone call in this kind of situation! good luck!  
Date: 5/13/2002 4:47:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 34758    you're right. thanks!  

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