Mother's Day Dilemmas **Frankenstein

Well, it's once again that time of year when Mom gets a special day set aside for her and I have to admit it, I'm lost. Does tradition dictate that Mother's Day gifts be wrapped? If so, what is the best way to wrap a case of Vienna sausages and a quart of malt liquor so that she can't tell what it is before opening it? That isn't the only option I have contemplated however. I'm tempted to buy her a carton of cigarettes. She doesn't smoke but I do and I have a little something stuck aside for her in the event of my untimely demise. Who knows? A smoking related illness could end up placing her in a pretty comfortable position. With that thought in mind, a carton of smokes would be a pretty good gift, I think. Then again, Mom's hearing isn't quite what it once was so perhaps a good gift would be a new car stereo. Okay, she doesn't drive but I could put it in my car. I usually end up having to take her somewhere a couple of times a year and if there was a new stereo, she could hear the music better. See? I'm thinking of her, I truly am! Would it be considered bad form if I just bought two tickets to see the new Spiderman movie and my Bride and I went? You should keep in mind that we would talk about Mom while we were standing in line and then I could call her when I got home and tell her about the film. See? I would be providing her with some second-hand entertainment and she wouldn't even have to leave the house! Am I a good son or what? What would you do?

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