Another Installment of: The Ramblings Of A Madman **Frankenstein

I've seen cans of carrot juice at the grocery store and I've often wondered about them. One day, I decided to use an orange juicer on a carrot. I worked and worked on it and what I ended up with was...well...a sore arm and a carrot. That makes me wonder where baby powder comes from. I'm not so sure that I want to know. I wonder why some disposable lighters are so difficult to use. That's such a shame! It's hard enough for kids in grade school to buy cigarettes but once they get them, they usually have to struggle to get them lit! I'm going to be a very, very rich man. I can't imagine why nobody has ever thought to do this before but I'm grateful because I'm really gonna cash in on it in a big way. Here's the product: dentures for babies! I'm gonna put Gerber's right out of business! I may reinvest some of my profits into marketing toupees for babies. Why is it that every newborn with poor eyesight wears contact lenses? They do! Think about it. When was the last time you went to the maturnity ward and saw a tiny infant in an incubator wearing thick, horn-rimmed glasses? I haven't seen that. Senior citizens can make great pets! You can usually find generic, disposable diapers for pretty cheap at the dollar store and they're cheap to feed too. When their eyesight fails and they lose their sense of taste and smell, you can feed them Ramen noodles for every meal and tell them that it's something different each time so that they won't raise a fuss. Those things are only about twenty cents a pack and old folks don't usually tend to eat much. "No, Grandpa, you had a pork chop for lunch. This is steak!" What they don't know won't hurt them. Call random phone numbers and act as though the person who answers called you. Ask them what they want and then pretend that you can't hear them. Keep repeating, "Huh?" in a loud voice. Get louder and louder each time you say it. Pick up your food at the drive-thru window at McDonald's, then park your car and go inside to eat. Leave a couple of bites in the bag and go to Burger King. Complain that you didn't get it the way you ordered it. When they put up a fight, demand to see the manager. When you get no satisfaction from the boss, threaten a lawsuit in a very loud voice. I imagine that there is another planet like ours somewhere. The people and everything there is exactly the same as here. The only difference is that they eat and milk horses and ride cows. Shouldn't cowboys be called horseboys? Why is it that when a doctor says that there may be a little sting, it feels as though a searing needle is piercing through to the deepest core of your very soul? I wonder what it would be like if he said that it was going to hurt like the Devil? Would you see visions? Would you speak in tongues? Would you transform into a raging fireball and bounce off of the walls of the exam room? Did I remember to take my medication today? I wonder...

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