I don't know what I'm asking really.. but please read anyway

I am in desperate need of guidance, and I don't know where else to turn. I'm scared for myself, and I'm very sorry if I'm asking too much of you in this post, but..

The night before last, I tried to kill myself. I took about thirty pills (of all different kinds). I slept all day yesturday, and my "friend" kept coming in the room to check on me because I was breathing funny. I want to die.. and I guess I am asking you to tell me that there is some hope left out there.

My husband (07/13/50) and I broke up on 01/04/02. I'm desperately afraid of being alone but I am so scared of a new relationship that I pushed someone really terrific (12/19/80) away.

I did a bad thing, and bounced a bunch of my husband's checks. I was trying to make him mad enough to call me. Instead, the cops came to his work, so he retailiated by taking my car away. In my car were all of my journals...

and he read them. Now he's calling my mom to tell her about my drug problem(?) and to tell her that I can have my car back only AFTER I pay these checks off.. Which isn't going to be easy. I had to miss work (partly because I was puking and partly because I couldn't find a ride). Then I got wrote over up over it today, and I freaked out on my bosses.

I'm so afraid that I might be pregnant.. which is the way my luck is running lately, and I'm scared to death of what tomarro will bring. I think I might of lost my someone.. And I am so scared I will be alone forever.

I don't know what I want you to say.. Only that I am grasping at straws trying to find hope.

My bday is 080977 if that helps.

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