If your wife asks you to get some groceries, and you put on camoflage and grab a shotgun, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if....
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
You think the OJ Trial was a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius because he's got thirteen fingers.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
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