i think i am losing her, pls pls pls help-may

this is updated pleaaaaaaaaase help i am hurting my best freind by asking for help..i dont understand....what can i do?-may ... i am finding my freinds dissipating in my time of need. my best freind since second grade, lets call her Lee*, was through everything with me when mom died, the six weeks of her being alive, the surgery, the fights, the hospital visits, every thing, and than she was there for hours through the days mom was slipping away. my mother was not only a special mother to me, but to my freinds, especially lee. my mother in her delerious state recognized lee and asked her to smile, a common request from mom to lee. lee thought of my mom as a second mom to her,lee was also through the funeral, both veiwngs, and time after, protecting me in the first few tender days back to school and listening in detail to my complaints and thoghts on my therapy session. however the last time i went to therapy, was when i said no more, she pushed me too far when i was really upset and i walked out. i went over lee's house who had another one of our freinds there, erin*, we talked and cried about my mother and the life i had come to live, but in the end, lee asked me to tell her i wanted to be happy and go on, i told her i didn't but she begged me saying that she can go to her mom, and i can't and she doesn't want to kow that, so upset and sarcastic, i said it to stop her begging, i than wiped her tears, hung out, and went home. she has been avoiding me since,i don't think i have been there since, and we haven't talked, i had it from reliable sources, erin* and another person in my family that lee is suddenly taking my mothers death really hard, she always was, but now she is worse, talking to me, and seeing the house and being with me reminds her of my mom, so that is why she barely talks to me any more,she doesn't call, talk to me, hang out, nothing, she moved on to other freinds, also lee is like the leader of the pack so to say, so whenever she does something the whole group does, so i have been left out of the whole group of freinds we had. i felt bad for her and want to help, but than the selfish me says what am i suppose to do? i don't mean as in socially who will come to the mal with me, i mean who can i cry on>>?? it was my mother, my best freind who died, she has hers, recently i found out that someone from my family supposivly told her mom who told her (game of telephone n e one?) that i said lee NEVER was there for me, if u read the first paragraph, i don't believe that and never said it. so our nuetral freind who found this out is going to tell her this, i just for some reason can't approach her, i'm too afraid, normally i do, but this has happened before, she knows that, why didnt she just ask me, instead of leaving me alone, i'm so alone why does this have to ruin our freindship? so what, i am suppose to be ok alone by myself and healing just dandy while my bf ingores helping me when i need help the most bc of my mom? i cant even tell u the pain i feel every day, and she has helped me through so much, but now she leaves me, it may be selfish of me but i don't know what to do any more, i feel so alone and lost all the time, and i can't call her, i use to say she was my sister, but she has disowned me, sorry it is so unbelievably long, there was just so much to the story -may