FUN-R-CISE , & ,, I learned that my wife really loves me ,, WOODEN NICKEL

FUN-R-CISE Don't like a lot of rigorous exercise?

Looking for a simple easy to do exercise program?

Or maybe you just don't have enough spare time for conventional exercise?

Here's your solution! The FunOne.com Get In Shape (or not) Exercise Workshop, FUN-R-CISE!

In no time you'll be able to get your body into as good a shape as you are now! (or not)

In just a very few short minutes you'll be doing the following exercises.

A great one to start with is "Beating around the bush."



A favorite is "Jumping to conclusions."



Used by a lot of people, "Climbing the walls."



This one is very popular, "Passing the buck."



People seem to really enjoy this one, "Throwing one's weight around."



Also popular, "Dragging your heels."



Another favorite, "Pushing your luck."



This one has been popular the last few years, "Making mountains out of molehills."



We especially like this one, "Hitting the nail on the head."



We're not fond of this, but a lot of people are doing it... "Wading through paperwork."



If you're really flexible, there's "Bending over backwards."



Conformists like this one, "Jumping on the bandwagon ."



Some people like "Balancing the books."



People find this one easy to do, "Running around in circles."



Very popular, "Tooting one's own horn."



If you have self confidence, you might try "Climbing the ladder of success."



And you might also want to try "Pulling out the stops."



This one is excellent for beginners, "Starting the ball rolling."



We recommend you don't try this one though, "Going over the edge."

And for a limited time only, you'll also receive the special FunOne.com Diet Plan, which includes diet tips such as:

Swallowing your pride, Eating crow, Opening a can of worms, and Putting your foot in your mouth!

Don't Delay,

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MEET ME...

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered,

"I guess you'd be eating alone."

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IT'S OK A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.

"Aw, Dad, it's okay" the son said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

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BLACK AND BROWN

Little Donny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day, his mother admired the pictures, and hung them on the refrigerator.

One thing started bothering her. Little Donny only used black and brown for his drawings. Fearing a problem, and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.

The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Donny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Donny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Donny continued to bring home drawings in only black and brown.

Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem, and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Donny some paper and a box of crayons, and observe what happened.

Little Donny opened the box of crayons, and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school, we only have old boxes. The only crayons left in mine are black and brown!"

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Spank The Baby

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so.

The mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

The little boy responded: "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.

Spank him again."

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Out With The Flu

I ran into Jim at work yesterday. He had been out for a few days with the flu. I asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience." he replied.

"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?" I asked in stunned disbelief.

"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, my wife ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying "My husband is home! My husband is home!"

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