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CONTEMPLATING LIFE..........................ReleaseMe

  Author:  28848  Category:(Discussion) Created:(4/6/2002 11:07:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (853 times)

Sometimes I think that I think I'm a better person than what I really am. I think that generally I'm a good person, but when I start picking myself apart I realise that things aren't all that great. Especially when you consider my past and things that I have done. And things that I continue to do. For instance I consider myself to be christian in beliefs, but I don't always practice what I believe on a day to day basis. I drink, I curse, I've even been known to lie. I've broken almost every one of the ten commandments. I have denied God at times in my life and so much more. Religion is such a touchy subject for me. I want to be good. I want to live right. but when it comes down to it, I'm just me... I have so many questions about life, death, God, religion. I wouldn't know where to begin. I wish so much that I could just call God up on the phone sometimes and ask him what I should do. I pray at times, not everyday, but when I pray I often feel that God doesn't want to hear from me because I have not lived by his will. Am I the only one with these problems? It wouldn't surprise me if I were...I don't meet a lot of people that are like me in any way.. I have met more people on usm than in my life that I actually can relate to. And then that takes me to another topic. Usm is a friendly G-rated site where everyone is welcomed and loved. But do you not ever think that people are different in their everyday life than they are on usm? I have to admit that I am nicer to people here more than I am to people that I meet generally in life. I guess one reason for that would be because I AM welcomed and loved here, Something that I have lacked and yearned for most of my life. Yeah, I'm an outcast, Deal with it! LoL. I really do love coming to usm and I truly have grown to care for most people that I have met here. I've cried with you. Laughed with you..for more than a year now. Well that's enough of my rambling for now I guess..lol. Luv, ReleaseMe :)

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Date: 4/6/2002 11:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 31255    I have often and do often have similiar thoughts. I don't think anyone of us is perfect. Our walk with God is always kind of a rocky path. At least it is for me, but like any relationship its something you work on and the more work you put into it ususally the better results you will end up with and the closer to God or to a person you will get. *hugs*  
Date: 4/7/2002 12:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 49548    i am not christian but i feel similar to what you feel, we are similar,my author id is.49548.check-out some of my stuff.i have a debate/question on right now. it is JACK FIELDS(no religion good or bad/??????????.read it and see what you think.your new friend JACK FIELDS..
Date: 4/7/2002 3:43:00 AM  From Authorid: 12581    Don't beat yourself up! You are human, the fact that you can look over your life and aknowlege these mistakes and admit you made them is wonderful! I feel that a mistake is never in vain as long as somthing is learned from it. DOn't feel guilt over you past, learn from it, learn from getting to know yourself and try to change those things about yourself that you don't like. And about USM I know some folks are not as they appear to be on here. I like to think though that who you get on here is who I am in real life. I am one of those folks who really tries their best to do the right thing and treat everyone with respect but hey I'm human I know I'm witchy somtimes and rude, but I try to apologize when I recognise this behavior *HUGS* You sound like a very intelligent individual and I bet your a good person, we all have made big mistakes but we are human and have the ability to learn from these Thanks for sharing and Take care!  
Date: 4/7/2002 8:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 16671    awwwwwwwww HON, I know what you mean about outcast, I was most of my life, and sometimes it hurt really really bad. One puts up a defence shield around them, tuff as nails attitude so that NO ONE can hurt them again. I retained that until I turned 35 and found Jesus, Then I knew that I could not undertand the love of God unless I returned that Love back. NO ONE, is perfect! Your reaching out in this manner, wanting to talk to God on the phone, to find out just how and what to do, speaks volumes as far as your heart goes. Sure loads of people come unglued, *christian people* that is, about someone that drinks, or smokes or cusses, amoung other things, but GOD looks on the HEART, not the flesh. THE flesh IS NOT what is going to be with the Lord, the flesh has NOT been renewed, our spirit has. AND our MIND? Well that can only be renewed daily by prayer and reading Gods word, interacting with those of same faith. ITs easy for ANYONE any of us, to not renew our minds daily as God asks, and when that happens our heart can once again turn cold and bitter, I know mine does. This is why I spend so much time on usm preaching, it keeps me in the word. YOU are not any more unworthy or worthy than any of us. AS Paul says in the bible, " THE things that I WANT to do are the things that I DONT and the things that I DONT want to do are the things that I DO" NOW this was a great man of God in the bible. I praise GOD he looks on our Hearts and not our flesh, I praise God that when I mess up and BOY do I mess up, that he is always there to forgive my sins of the flesh. Do I try not to mess up, sure it do, But it doesnt always work that way. I"m here for anything you need, rather its questions or just to vent. Msg me, you know where I'm . Hugs.  
Date: 4/7/2002 11:46:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 28848    Thank you all for your comments..especially you FB. I know that I can come to you when I need to and that means alot. luv,  
Date: 4/8/2002 8:51:00 AM  From Authorid: 16671    Hugs, honey, I'll always be here. NOT that some would like to see me gone. hehehehhe loves ya.  

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