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Should I try to help my mom raise my brother?

  Author:  11348  Category:(General Advice) Created:(2/13/2002 4:37:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1011 times)

When my sister and I were little and lived in missouri, my mom was pretty strict with us. She didn't always say yes and she made us do chores and homework and she stressed personal hygiene hugely. My brother is 9 years old now. When I was little I was very underweight all the time, but my brother is really big for his age. He's 110 pounds, pretty close to my weight and i'm 18. Despite his weight, my mom lets him eat whatever he wants (tons and tons of junk food), whenever he wants. He'll eat 4 ice cream bars after 2 candy bars in one siting. He'll then leave the wrappers and things on the floor for my mom to clean up. That boy could eat us out of house and home if he wanted. He gets no excercise and he doesnt have any friends here... but that's because he's turned into a rude selfish boy and other kids don't like him. He basically sits and watches tv or plays video games, while he eats, alllll day long. That's all he ever does besides school! He won't help out around the house, he won't do anything for himself... my mom does everything for him including pick out his clothes and sleep in his bed so he's not scared!

He's 9 years old. I honestly think that it's time he had some responsibilities. It would be something totally different if he was nice about everything, but this kid is terror child. When he doesn't get something he wants he screams and throws fits and throws things across the room. He's broken two computers... that's how bad he gets. He calls my mom names, he beats up my 4 year old brother and tries to beat up my mom.

My mom doesn't do anything! She lets him have whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I have a theory as to why she does this, and it's because my grandma raised her so strictly that she's making extra effort to be nothing like my grandma, especially now that we're living back here by her again. But this change in raising her kids has come in the past 6 months or so since we've been living here... and I don't think hse sees what is happening to my brother.

I always try to put my two cents in... but she just defends him and I can understand... I'm just the other daughter, not the mother. But what kind of a mother is this? What is this going to do to her son and my brother? What should I do about this?

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Replies:      
Date: 2/13/2002 4:45:00 PM  From Authorid: 37471    That kid is going to have serious problems when he grows up to like 12 or 13 and the other kids start making fun of him. Especially since he doesn't have any friends, hes going to have a bad time getting through middle and high school. I think it would be nice to try and help him out by getting him into sports where he can exercise and make friends, I think he just doesnt know any better since hes only 9 years old and gets treated from what i read, like a king. I think hes going to grow up and get picked on and hes going to be a sad kid, I would help him out. Get him to start playing soccer.  
Date: 2/13/2002 4:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 23393    just wait till he goes to college(or somewhere if he doesn't go) he'll see what it's like in the real world, and by the way it sounds it seems he deserves it...oh well  
Date: 2/13/2002 4:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 40881    Well I think it's simple. If you love your brother then buy him some skates,a basketball,a football,or something like that..and tell him to get dressed and TAKE him out to play at the same place everytime..soon he will find friends there..and things will change!! You said he's a rude selfish boy?? Come on sis!!! Wake up and see that he's 9 YEARS OLD he must be hurting!!! He needs friends and excersize but he probably is feeling so low about himself that it's hard to do!Let mom raise him..you don't need that kind of presher but you can find the time to get him out of the house a few hours a week..right? If he starts to feel good about himself he will change, and he's eating out of bordem and lonleyness...it's sad So help him...he need soomeone to give him a little help in the right direction.  
Date: 2/13/2002 6:02:00 PM  From Authorid: 47984    Well, heres my opinion. I'm 21 and my younger sister is 17 now. She was the only one left at home for 2 years now and she's very obnoxious. I'm talking very. She treats my parents like crap and they take it b/c she's the baby and the last one. BUT. when my parents aren't around. I have really laid into her about what she does, I actually act like i'm talking over the parenting role and let her know what she's doing is wrong. Just let him know what you think, and how he is acting and how he needs to change. Tell him that if he needs to stop acting like this, especially towards his mother if he doesn't like her answer b/c that lady gave birth to him. I'm sorry about speeling like that. but thats my feelings on this.
Date: 2/13/2002 6:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 42945    Well unfortunately your mum is not doing him any favours, the only advice I can give you hun is that each time you see him eating between meals try talking to him and encourage him not to and also to pick up his own rubbish, you really cant do anything if your mum wont back you up, he will grow up into an obese, lazy man unless the mother takes him in hand...good luck hun...cheers  
Date: 2/13/2002 9:00:00 PM  From Authorid: 49080    Sounds like he needs a good butt whippin'! - Sweet September  
Date: 2/14/2002 5:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 47983    Shes spoiling him. You have to have a talk to your mother and tell her to be a little strict. Maybe sometimes you could ask your brother to go with you outside for a walk to lose soem pounds. I do that with my niece. Since my sister is very busy I try to help her. I would take long walks with her. She lost about 5 pounds! Also tell your brother that when he gets hungry he should do something. Well.. you better change your bro now! hes gunna grow up and be a violent child! talk to your mom! If this dosen't help talk to a family member.. maybe one of your family members can convince your mom.. good luck ...~*Jeset*~  
Date: 2/15/2002 6:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 7333    It's already 9 years late for your poor brother, but maybe there's still hope for him. Since your mother refuses to listen to you and your sister, have you talked with his teachers at school, and his pediatrician? Since he's beating on your mother and 4 year old brother, along with his other destructive behavior, sounds like maybe it's time to talk with Child Services. And your mother is allowing this -- putting herself and a 4 year old in DANGER? This may sound hard, but this may be the best thing that could happen with your brother now.
Perrianne
  

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