My brother is driving me crazy.... ARGGGGGHHHH!!!...... mercury vents here!

I'M SO angry with MY BROTHER RIGHT NOW!!

I just need to vent so that I may approach this situation with a calmer head than the one I have right now....

Just a little background, for starters... he's an alcoholic who doesn't think he has a problem. He's a miserable, self-centered, emotional, pessimistic crybaby who refuses to grow up! The only time I hear from him is when he:

A) Needs something: like a ride, because the state refuses to give him his license back due to the fact that he can't figure out that there's a time for drinking and time for driving, but that those two times NEVER coincide with each other and has been caught 5 (yes FIVE!) times doing so.

B) Is drunk. (seems to be.... ALWAYS!)

C) Is throwing himself a pity party. (seems to be constant)

I'm guessing that last night's incident was a combination of at least 2 of the above 3.

I was upstairs working on the playroom (which is turning out soooo cute by the way!) when the phone rang. I was going to ignore it, but thought, "Hey, it might be Scott" and headed for the stairs. (I guess in all fairness... He does occasionally call just to talk, but not often. And we have been playing phone tag since his birthday earlier this month.) I got about half way down the stairs when I heard his "drunk voice". I decided right then to not answer the phone, but I was actually flabbergasted when I heard the contents of his message.... "It's SCOTT! If you or anyone in your house has a set of 8@LL$, pick up the phone...." (He waits for someone to pick up... Yeah! Right!) "Well I guess your either all sick or I"m just brain dead!" I guess I should mention, too that his tone was one of absolute belligerence.

He moved to Washington for almost a year... I didn"t hear from him the entire time he was gone. Until he needed a ride home from the airport when he moved back. So, of course, I re-arranged my schedule (because he called me only 2 days before his flight was scheduled, even though he'd had the ticket for over a month!), I arranged for my husband to miss a day's worth of sleep and he arranged to miss a day's worth of work to look after the kids, so that I could drive him all over half of Michigan. I took him to the union hall to register for work. I took him to the park office to get his rent situation straightened out. I took him to Best Buy so he could buy a TV, carted him to three different banks, made 2 trips to Mom's to gather some of his belongings that were there, made a trip to the grocery store... I put well over 300 miles on the car and spent nearly 12 hours behind the wheel that day... that day in August. It was the last time I heard from him until two days before Christmas. Retraction... I heard from him one other time. He called one night around midnight and thought it would be funny to leave a message that said he was at the police station. My husband heard the message and woke me up. I looked at the caller ID and knew he was at home. I called him back and told him to stop playing games and that he really had a sick sense of humor.

A few days prior to our Christmas visit, my mom had a conversation with him about his "means of keeping touch". She told him that she was tired of him calling only when he needed something. He got defensive and denied that he did that. She told him that I felt the same way. (Which, I kind of wish she hadn't done that but what's done is done...) When I saw him at the family Christmas party, two days before Christmas he made a passing comment... something like, "It took me 3 days to uncurl myself from the fetal position." (Referring to the conversation he had with Mom and how "wounded" he felt from it, I assume.) I just let it slide... pretended I didn't hear. I didn't want to be party to yet another spoiled celebration due to family issues. So that meeting goes over pretty much un-eventfully.

Next meeting two days AFTER Christmas... I don't think he spoke three words to me all day, but I just figured that it was because his kids were there and he didn't want to give them any ammo to take back to their mother. Uneventful again.

January 2 is his birthday. I called and said "Happy Birthday" to his machine, then got a return call on my machine saying "Thank you" about a week later. I don't know if I was supposed to call him back... he didn't say to... but the next contact I have is last night's phone call. I'm guessing he probably wants to confront me on my thinking he only calls when when the above criteria is met...

I'm just so fed up with his inconsideration. I've tried to explain to him at least a million times that I really enjoy the 2 hours that are ALL MINE in the evenings after the kids are in bed. I've tried to explain to him that I really don't like to talk on the phone very much, especially at night, and that our conversations end up being too long-winded. I've tried to explain to him that his Single lifestyle is very different from my Married w/ Children lifestyle, and that our schedules don't coincide very well. If I talk on the phone it's usually to my mom at about 7 am... Which is about 3 hours before he even thinks about getting up, if he's not working. When he is working, by the time he gets home from work, I'm in my mad rush for the day to end.... dinner, baths, clean up, bedtime stories and kids in bed! By the time I finish that all I want to do is unwind, and dealing with him seems to have the opposite effect. I spend all day, every day taking care of the needs of other people... I NEED those two short hours.... call me selfish!

I realize that he's lonely, so why does he keep driving people away? I realize that his life is a mess, but he made it that way with continual bad choices. And I realize that sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on but mine are soaked already!

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