My 1st Story on USM (Tell me what you think--I made it up) ~MJD~

I held my baby girl's head in my lap. It was Sunday and we were at church and her tiny body was so tired. My daughter, Tawny, was only 3 years old and she had leukemia. The dreaded news came to us around 6 months ago and now she was undergoing treatments and chemotherapy to help her. I cried when her reddish brown curls fell out. And I held her when she got sick from all the treatments. My little girl dying right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. Today was one of her good days. She didn't want to stay in bed, she wanted to come to church and talk with Jesus, she said. So I dressed her up in the pinkest, frilliest dress I could find. I told her she was the most beautiful girl in the world and I was telling the truth. But she looked up at me with those sparkling blue eyes and then touched her head with her tiny hand. "Hat" was all she said. So I reached up in the closet and pulled down a straw hat and placed it on her head. She smiled up at me, her tiny face shining, and I took her to the mirror so she could see how beautiful she was. She looked at herself with curious eyes and smiled. "See?" I said, "Mommy told you that you were beautiful" Dave walked in and scooped her up in his arms. "How's my princess feeling?" He held her gently so he wouldn't hurt her frail frame in any way. "Daddy, see my hat? I'm going to wear it to talk to Jesus." He put her down, "Well, we better get a move on cause we wouldn't want to miss that" That's where we are now. Church. We hadn't been here very long and Tawny started feeling bad again. She said she hurt. She put her little head in my lap and closed her eyes, and I sat there and watched her breathing. That night she took a turn for the worse and we ended up taking her to the hospital. The doctor's said she wasn't looking good and she should stay there. I watched the doctors and nurses as they stuck needle after needle and tube after tube into my little baby. I thought of when I was pregnant with her. Dave and I were ecstatic to finally have a baby. I watched her grow and play. I watched as her fat rosy cheeks into what they were now. Loving her all her life was the greatest thing that I will always treasure. And now I watched her in her hospital bed, sleeping. She opened her eyes and looked at me as I walked towards her, Dave was right behind me, and she held her arms out to me. I hugged her and Dave kissed her. He couldn't bare the sight so he left the room. I was left alone with my baby girl. I got into that big hospital bed with her and laid there next to her, like I used to when she had a bad dream. She turned her head and looked at me with her big bright blue eyes, she didn't say a word and neither did I, and I watched as a tear slowly ran down her tiny cheek. Tears started coming from my eyes. I layed there looking at this tiny human. I was there when I brought this creature into my life and I was there when she slowly faded from it. I wiped away the tears and watched as the life slowly left her body. The sparkle from her eyes were gone. And the heart in my chest had shattered.

~MJD~

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