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...Call Me Ebenezzor....BUT I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!!!......Agent Smith

  Author:  21867  Category:(Discussion) Created:(12/19/2001 6:04:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1215 times)

Yo Peoples,

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I have just spent THE most infuriating morning in the city helping my clients with their Christmas Shopping (I work in Mental Health by the way). Whats with Christmas anyway...the closer we draw to the 25th the MORE stoopid people seem to become. Idiotic drivers who drive down One Way streets...THE WRONG WAY! Peeps who REFUSE to use indicators while turning - WHATS THE MATTER? WAS THE INDICATOR A FACTORY OPTION YA DIDN'T TICK!!!!

Then...after AT LEAST an hour of going round and round and round and round and round (dizzy yet?) the carpark ya might...MIGHT...find a carpark. But ya gotta be quick coz that BMW up ahead that saw ya waiting for it doesn't care...NO...apparently if you drive an BMW X5 you are inherently entitled to claim any carpark anywhere...I guess I missed that in Drivers Ed class huh. But don't worry...she waved out a fake 'Gee...sorry...didn't see you' as she locked her car up IN MY PARK and left. Yeah...I'll make ya sorry ya little.....opps, hehehe...G-rating, G-rating.

THEN...ya make ya way into the shopping centre and its like everyones on speed...someone pushed the fast forward on the remote again I think. Peeps running around, bumping into everyone and everything. Then of course ya get the Demolition Derby pram-pushers...you know the ones...mothers with double-prams who just love to push them along at break neck speed - straight into your ankles. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! So I try to calm myself...as it probably would do the kids in the pram some serious psychological damage to see their mum laid out by some enraged man.

And whats with hiring brain-dead shaved monkeys as shop assistants during the Christmas rush too? Seems EVERY shop I went into, the pre-requisite for acquiring a Christmas job there MUST have been only the ability to tie your shoe-laces...and even then they're pretty lenient on that by the looks of if. So after a looooooooooong time trying to explain to the Shop Assistant what I'm looking for I generally give up, walk out and end up just giving my family and friends money instead. A lot less stress.

And to top it ALL off...I come back out to my car and Super Parking Warden has just finished writing me out a parking ticket...yet I had another 2 minutes left of parking time. By the time we finish arguing about it the time has expired and my car of course is STILL parked there...so Mr Parking Warden smiles, waves and walks away telling me I can write to the address at the bottom to challenge the ticket! Write to the address? Nah buddy, I got a better idea of what to do with this ticket...or more accurately where to put it...come back Mr Parking Warden...I got a little Christmas present for ya!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I wonder if my boss would notice if I just 'borrowed' a few of them nice little red pills in the Meds cabinet...hehehe. Right...back into it...appointment with another client in 20 minutes - and they want to go do some Christmas Shopping *starts to rock nervously*

Peace, Agent Smith

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 12/19/2001 6:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    *Sits on the couch 'bah humbugging' with agent smith*  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 13079    red pills???? did I hear someone mention red pills?......*smile* ACTUALLY Agent Smith....I don't like Christmas either......I used to when my children were younger.....but now it's not for me *hugs*  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:11:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Becks,
Hey...thats MY couch...now I can't even find a space on a couch! ARGGGGH!!!
  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 33286    can I get a round of hot buttered rum here??,,Smitty,, first couple rounds are on me bro.  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    *throw Pixie a bottle of red 'specials'* Just take a couple Pix...too many and ya start seeing things *smile* I'm gald someone else feels the same way...now I gotta get back to work. Peace,  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Still working bro...so i can't drink...hey, maybe just a quick shot *skulls* cheers bro! Peace,  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    are you implying that I have a big butt? there's plenty of space here! lmao  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 38474    Call me the grinch if you will, but I HATE CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, bah humbug, I just wish it was OVER already............  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    lmao...i love your terminalogy..that is so funny..."brain dead shaved monkey" ...i have to remember that....instead of going shopping try on line shopping...no malls, traffic, parking meters or crowds...sk8r  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 19927    I like the spirit of Christmas, but not the cost of it!  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 28336    i hate the holidays...and my kids are small...it is just way to stressing...i have enough stress in my life without adding this extra bit of stress.....as you said fighting in the parking lot and with the usual kids running the department stores...i have had enough...and it ain't even here yet.....hand me some of the red pills.....love to ya all...  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 28946    Awwwwww, my heart is with you. Maybe those people forgot what Christmas is really about. You know, Discovery Television did a thing on shopping and found men really had violent stressors related to shopping. They said men were hunters and women were the gatherers. Men that had to go to stores actually were more prone to heart attacks. (just some useless info I put your way) Smile at the rude clerks and nasty parking cop and say Merry Christmas.  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:18:00 PM  From Authorid: 13079    But to be honest....I always "thought" you were very "Christian"....and ergo.....loved Christmas.....What an eye opener!  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 15157    Hehehe!...Yo Cute  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 20750    Becky has a big butt!!!  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    *Sobs* do NOT!!!!!! *Cries* haaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 20750    hi Hackie!!  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 16442    I like Christmas, or at least seeing it through my 2 year old sons eyes, but I definitely DO NOT like the shopping aspect of it. I still have TONS of shopping to do and am going to have to be out at the malls this weekend, could you please pass some of those pills around? LMAO.....  
Date: 12/19/2001 6:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 20956    *nods head* yep AS i know EXACTLY how you feel. i just got back from my lunch break and because i am SOOOO unorganised, i had to start (yes START) my xmas shopping in my break at the mall. What a dumb idea that was!!!! It took me 20 mins to find a car park, another 25 mins at the perfume counter to get my Mum's presnet and then low and behold, i've run out of time and had to go back to work!!! It was like running the guantlet trying get through all those people and i only got to buy ONE present! *sigh* Thats what i get for leaving everything to the last moment ... gonna have to do it all over again tomorrow! ...... But i still LOVE xmas  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:02:00 PM  From Authorid: 33286    hmmm,,, I think I stay away from the big butt issue...............**runs**  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    HACK! Get back here!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 33925    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HUMBUG!!!!! LOL..xoxo  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:11:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Becky,
YAY! My client DIDN'T want to do any Chrissy shopping so I actually got to go home early! Just what the doctor ordered...though I'm sure I could find a Dr to prescribe me some of them tempting pills *smile* And Becky...come on now...I would NEVER tell a lady that. I might think it. But NEVER would I say it...LMAO! Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:11:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Racquie,
YAY! We should set up a Grinch Group just for those who want to hibernate over this Christmas period. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo LilSis,
I hate that too...I hate how my love for family members is now being financially dictated...commercialisation blows! And besides...the money ya end up spending on the family could be better spent on a new set of alloys for ya ride! Am I right! Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:15:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Sk8R,
On-line shopping...yeah, gonna HAVE to give that a go. I normally just go into town at like 10pm or midnight to avoid most of the crowds. I don't do crowds too well if ya haven't guessed Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:16:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo BlueMoon
*passes some red pills* Oh man...my heart goes out to those who have to wade through all that chaos with children in tow...now THAT must be stressful. Thanks for ya reply...and Merry Christmas to ya. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 37354    Drink a beer on the way to the stores and one on the way back. Takes the edge off. Hugo
Date: 12/19/2001 7:18:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Penny,
Oh THANK YOU! Tell me now that I'm risking a heart-attack...LMAO! And sorry...but smiles AREN'T what I had in mind for the rude clerks and parking wardens. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:19:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Pixie,
Me? A Christian? Well...I suppose I do have some Christian beliefs...but thats how it is...I have a FAITH but not a RELIGION. Now close those eyes...they're scaring me Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:20:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Keekster!
Gotcha big supply of catnip for Chrissy yet? Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:21:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo LilSis,
Shhhhhush! Don't start no cat-fight on my post please...hehehe. Just as long as ya tell Becks I didn't tell ya to say that Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:22:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Becks,
Don't worry...as we age things change...and loose black pants can hide a multitude of sins...hahaha...have we given ya a complex yet? Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:24:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo MoonPriestess,
Seems I'm out of the red ones...but these funky green ones are a doosie! Try some of these...hehehe. What I love about Christmas is family...but then I can catch up with them at any time of the year. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:25:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo SunAngel,
You sound like me...I thrive on crisis...always leave me Chritmas shopping till the last minute, though I DO check out various catalogues etc before hand to get an idea of whats available. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:26:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Timbro,
Yeah bro...women talking about how big their butts are...EVERY man in their right mind knows thats the time ya bail and hide!
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:27:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo LL,
Have we got another member of the Grinch Group in you have we? Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:29:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Hugo,
Great idea man. Ya know what I noticed...in almost ALL the malls I have been in, there are crowds of men in the bars sculling back beer or spirits before venturing out into the fray once more. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    *Sobs* everyone hates meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:36:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Guess YOU won't be needing chocolate this Christmas...LMAO! Just kidding Becks...honest...don't listen to them nasty peeps. You have to learn to accept and love yourself...in spite of ya faults *snicker*  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:55:00 PM  From Authorid: 22852    ROFLMAO... This was great! I love you man! Thanks for the great big smile you gave me.. oh yeah and Merry Christmas.. LOL  
Date: 12/19/2001 7:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 3125    I told my hubby that I am putting a "Closed for the Holidays" sign on my door and under that put up another sign that reads "Bah! Hum Bug!"..I hate the superficial days of Christmas..It will ALL be over in another week,if we can just hang in there!..  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 15033    I agree with Hugo here...drink some beer...Even I will down a couple non-alcohol ones just for the hops (natural sedative)...and to get the most wonderful mood heightening effect, I take two 500mg. caps of L-phenylalanine. It's an amino acid...Then throw in a couple St. Johns Wort herbal caps and I am smiling from ear to ear as the officer "tries" to give me a ticket, or someone thought they were stealing a better parking place. hehe!!! Love you baby, you better come to my place and get a big hug and kiss for all your trouble...*kiss kiss kiss* ya get more later....  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    *perks up* what faults??? I'm perfect remember? *Grins* LOL!!!!  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo StormChaser,
Glad the post gave ya a little Christmas cheer...thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:31:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo RUSure,
Yep...only a week to go...and its all over and done with. Then ya get all the neato Christmas sales! Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:32:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Hi Ya Honey,
Ohhhh...I'll be right over...hehehe. Love Ya! *kiss kiss kiss*
  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:33:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Becks,
Yup...ya keep telling ya-self that ya hear...LMAO! Peace,
  
Date: 12/19/2001 8:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 16671    LOL LOL, MERRY CHRISTMAS AGENT SMITH. lol lol LOL LOL  
Date: 12/19/2001 10:27:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo FB,
Merry Christmas to you and yours also. Peace and God Bless,
  
Date: 12/20/2001 12:21:00 AM  From Authorid: 7089    yo smith, move over-- if you're ebenezer then i am the grinch. i can live fine w/o christmas...i like SIMPLE holidays, not simply AGGRAVATING...rush rush, gt get this this & that, deal w/commercial warfare every time a tire crawls into a parking lot...ugh, man i'll be happy when the last present is opened & life can resume its semblance of simplicity again. i'm not religious or anything but i bet this was a lot easier to handle when it was abt religion-- pagan or christian --& not abt some fat guy w/an unlimited budget. cheers,  
Date: 12/20/2001 6:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 16865    I much prefer halloween. Christmas to me is a big let down. Ever since six... well I can't say what happened there are young people here *bah humbug*  
Date: 12/20/2001 10:34:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Tugger,
Gotta agree with ya there! I preferred Christmas when I was younger. We didn't have a lot of money so Christmas was a very family orientated day where what was special about it wasn't the presents, it was the gathering together with family and having fun. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/20/2001 10:37:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Dotchi,
Whoa...something bad musta happened huh...well, enjoy Halloween, even that is probably gonna go hardcore commercialized like Christmas before too long too. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 12/20/2001 4:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 8224    Agent Smith - you've done it again, put the cork in the bottle (so to speak) and addressed an element of life that needed airing - hate Christmas as well. Tis the season to be jolly - really, let me know when, and I'll be the first to sign up, but for now and in the years to come, I'll stick with my trusty catalogs and get all the shopping done in September and October - can't trust myself to be around anyone during November and December - seems everyone has lost their minds, marbels and equalibrium - don't give up Agent Smith, we still have New Years to get through, but knowing you, you'll make it - you have that "diplomatic" touch about yourself - and before I forget, Merry Xmas my New Zealand friend, and hope the New Year is even brighter. My best to your family. PS: Leave the little pills alone - tempting I know, but we can do it - we can survive another year of outright insanity - I know we can....I know we can.  
Date: 12/20/2001 5:14:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Antona,
Hahaha...yep...keep telling ya-self that. Right now my matra is "One more week...one more week" and it'll all be over. Thanks for ya reply and a big MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and yours as well. Peace,
  
Date: 12/23/2001 5:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 34078    Sitting here at my computer it all seems fine. Then I take a drive and suddenly understand what Satanists are all about. Scr*w Xmas.  
Date: 12/23/2001 9:22:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Perky,
Satanists? Dude...I believe in God yet I still say this...hehehe...TOO much commercialism, peeps need to get back to what this celebration is really about. Peace,
  
Date: 12/31/2001 7:08:00 PM  From Authorid: 177    I can dig it! Christmas is over so....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  
Date: 12/31/2001 7:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 177    ....ps...YUP...THEM darn shaved slave monkies will getcha every single time! This problem is world wide. AAck!  
Date: 1/1/2002 11:57:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yep...them darn shaved monkeys!!!! Darn Flithy Apes!!! Sounds like a quote from 'Planet of the Apes'. Happy New Year to ya too...Peace,  
Date: 1/9/2002 1:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 277    So you didn't get out of your var and have a little "fellowship" (that's what my husband refers to chit chatting with someone he doesn't agree with! lol!) with the lady who stole your parking spot? She probably saw you before she pulled in....and then the ticket, oh man! Sounds like you kept your cool though. I usually start shopping right after Thansgiving. It's a little crowded but not as bad as it is when it's closer to Christmas. Lots of sales too.  
Date: 1/9/2002 8:55:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Hawk,
Unfortunately I had a number of my clients in the car...and I was supposed to be modelling socially acceptable behaviours - so I couldn't jump out and 'have words'...as much as I wanted too I left my shopping for late at night too. Thanks for ya reply. Peace,
  
Date: 2/9/2002 4:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 49132    Merry Christmas!!lol lol **Frisky**  
Date: 2/9/2002 10:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 21867    Yo Frisky,
Merry Christmas to you too Peace,
  

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