What Our Moms Teach Us

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me religion - "You better pray that this stain comes out of the carpet..."

My mother taught me about time travel - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me logic - "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me foresight - "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me irony - "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about contortionism - "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about stamina - "You'll sit there til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about weather - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve physics problems - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about hypocrisy - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the Circle of Life - "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about behaviour modification - "Stop acting like your father!"

And last but not least...

My mother taught me about envy - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"



**Gemini Child**

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