Date: 10/15/2001 9:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 25438
Well...parents are people to. They were unhappy together. I am sure they have tried to work this out..I don't think you should hate them. I would try setting down and explaining this to them...they are adults and may have a solution. Mabey if anything you could finish out the semester at your school before leaving. Its a hard thing to do, but you all will get through it. As far as being the kid with the "divorced parents"...I think it is more unusual to be the kid with the real parents still married now-a-days.  |
Date: 10/15/2001 9:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 38433
if i had a choice, i'd bring my father back from the dead and settle for a divorce instead of never seeing him again, i don't know what to tell people in these situations but you can be happy that they are both alive and well, xoxo  |
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Date: 10/15/2001 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 44690
I completely understand!!!!! I receintly was divorced and I do not think it is fair to the kids at all!!!! I think marriage is forever and people that get divorced are very selfish - my husband cheated on me left and right. I was willing to forgive and forget but he never could stop and kicked me out with our child when I was 7 months pregnant. I divorced him even though I loved him and I did not want to. I am so sorry you have to go through this!!! I do not blame you one bit. Remember It is not your fault!!!! I will pray for your family and for your heart. |
Date: 10/15/2001 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 35042
I am so sorry Tim. It's gonna be tough - no point in pretending otherwise, but you have your friends here, at home and other family members who will be able to help you out on this. Good luck...  |
Date: 10/15/2001 9:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
Honey I am so sorry that you are hurting right now, but hating your parents is not the answer...you have said alot here about what they are taking from you...have you stopped to think about what they may be going through as well? I know from a parents point of view that divorce is NOT an easy thing to decide on..I know right now you are upset, and you have every right to be, but when you have calmed down a little, take some time to really think here...there had to have been signs...this couldnt be something that just came out of the blue...remember your parents are probably hurting too...and they love you very much..obviously or they wouldnt have taken the time "together" to sit down and tell you all of this....@}----xoxo  |
Date: 10/15/2001 9:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 33088
Honey, it is human nature to hold anger and hatred up in front of us, as a sheild to hide and protect our hurt. But your hurt comes through anyway. It is the total dismantling of YOUR life that is hurting you, and the fact that it is being done without you being allowed any say in the matter. It's like you're tied to the bumper of their car, that they are driving over a cliff. Maybe, WHEN YOU CAN TALK CALMLY, you might approach them with the idea that you'd like to stay in Singapore, until at least the end of the school year or something, because you are part of teams and such. As for "what kind of family is that". It is a NEW TO YOU, but quite common family configuration, that you WILL EVENTUALLY get used to, as do we all. Sweetheart, you are old enough now to understand that there is NO GUARANTEE that ANYONE you love will EVER stay in your life. ANY one of us could get hit by a bus, at any moment. Once we realize that, we cherish whatever time we do have with those we choose to love. The bottom line is your parent's have made this decision for THEMSELVES, and that is their right. YOUR RIGHT is to have some say in minimizing the disruption on YOUR life. But you must do that, in a rational, adult manner, if you want anyone to listen to you. If you stamp your foot, say "I hate you" and demand that they stay together, no one will listen. But if you calmly explain about basketball teams, and your potential career contacts, this is an adult response, that is more likely to get listened to. I wish you ALL THE VERY BEST, sweetie. Love,  |
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Date: 10/15/2001 9:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 33088
I also agree 100% with El Minea. My son Norman was just your age when my husband DIED two years ago. My son was one of his pallbearers. I think he'd LOVE to see his Dad even just once or twice a year! As you've said, you only got this news half an hour ago. When you've calmed down a little, you will realize that as long as no one's died, there's STILL lots of options to play with. All The Best, love, |
Date: 10/15/2001 10:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 43556
Honey, what you are feeling right now is natural. Your whole world feels like it is falling apart. You don't really hate them. If you did, you wouldn't care. You don't want advice right now, you just need to vent. Go ahead. We are here to listen to you. I'm giving you a big hug right now, so feel free to cry on my shoulder. Love you, BossLady  |
Date: 10/15/2001 10:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 22188
*Hugs*Awww, honey, I'm so sorry. I know this is really rough. My parents are divorced too..and you will get through all this just fine. You're right, it's NOT fair that you have to pick up and move because of their decisions. But I'm sure there's a REASON why you have to move with your mother? And like Blue Knight said..your parents are people too. They can't stay in that relationship if they are unhappy..because that wouldn't be a good situation for you either. You'll be able to keep in touch with your dad and with your friends too...and in time it will all get better. After you've cooled off some, it might help to talk to them..discuss how you're feeling. After you get over the initial shock of it all you'll probably be able to deal with it much better. I'll be thinking of you. Love and prayers,  |
Date: 10/15/2001 10:04:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 36540
I still hate them so much for what they have done.  |
Date: 10/15/2001 10:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 17275
First of all I'd like to say I am sorry for this...I know it is going to be really hard on you and your parents both for that fact. I understand the until death do you part thingy but, why would you expect them to stay together if they aren't in love with each other or may not even like each other for that fact??? Should they have to stay together just because they made a bad choice, I think everyone is entitled to some happiness in their lives (you included) so let them have their divorce. LA isn't such a bad place to be, I grew up there. Have you thought of the choices you have such as, staying in Singapore with your father??? You are male and do need a male role model in your life being a teenager and all??? Maybe you could stay with him and visit mom on the holidays and during summer vacation ect??? I know you are venting now but, in the next few days you should be deciding what you personally want and voice this to your parents. Good luck to you in the future!  |
Date: 10/15/2001 11:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 42791
i am so-------------- sorry to hear that i will pray that you get through this difficult ltime.DOLLS@STUFF  |
Date: 10/15/2001 12:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 25307
Why can't you stay with your dad so you won't have to leave everything? I'm so sorry for you. It's really sad when parents can't stay together. Just remember that they love you.  |
Date: 10/15/2001 1:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 18201
Granted, I think it is pretty selfish of your parents to not be thinking of your education at this point. The least they could do is allow you to stay with your dad until the end of the year. But think about the relationship your folks haev had and what must have lead to this. I'm not saying it will be easy, but don't you think that it would be better to have two happy parents who live in different places than two parents who live together and fight all the time? I am sure you will see your dad again if you leave with your mom, just as I am sure that you would see your mom if you stayed with your dad...that's the law. I certainly hope it works out for you...but I think you should try to, calmly, talk to your folks and tell them how you feel. That is much better than keeping it to yourself, and maybe the will realize that this is not entierly about them, but about you as well.  |
Date: 10/19/2001 12:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 35705
im sorry ur parents are getting a divorce. My parents got a divorce when i was only 4 and im feeling the pain now. My dad never came around and never has since then really. I could go to his house when i was little and sit in his bathroom eating marijuana seeds and he wouldnt care. Atleast ur parents do care for u right? they do..if u know what i mean. ur 15 right now and atleast u were that young and to realize at a very young age that u had to make urself then. I grew up teaching myself all that stuff. I knew what a lot of stuff was when i was just 7 yrs old. because i had been through so much. Maybe with this experience u can help others get through stuff in their life. ask ur mom if u can join a club back in l.a for ppl with divorced parents. I mean, if u want u hafta do something. its hard, i know. but maybe ull be happier with just one of them instead of both. U might see brighter days! Love from the...  |
Date: 10/20/2001 6:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 30401
well i hate to bring out the facts but ALOT of parents are 'divorced' i know it's hard, but it's not going to make you not 'normal' i perfectly understand why you would be mad, i would too. But think about how your parents feel. You can't expect them to stay married when they don't get along. I'm sure if you made friends, joined the basketball team, and got a job as a model in Singapore, you can do the same in the U.S. i know it will be hard, i'm not saying it won't but all these little obstacles life throws at us make us stronger people. i'm sorry about your parents and i hope things start looking up for you. Keep us posted. Love,  |
