Date: 10/13/2001 8:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
Excellent post Hawk! I already told you about my daughter in the previous post..I forgot to say that her teacher felt she needed to be medicated...but its funny how no teacher before her thought so, and this year she is doing wonderfully in grade 5!! NO problems with attention...hmmmmm..maybe the teacher should be tested for something and forced to be medicated..LOL...There are so many children in the school system that are medicated needlessly..and I have seen first hand the affects Ritalin can have on children...@}----xoxo  |
Date: 10/13/2001 8:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
I think it may have to do with over crowded classrooms. There's just too many kids for one teacher to handle. Some kids just take longer to quiet down and get focused. But, when you're dealing with an overwhelming amount of kids, if I was that teacher I would probably be having visions of all of them being quiet and paying attention too. I don't think medication is the answer.  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 8:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
LOL..that might be the case with most schools, but not this one...the school has grades k-8 and there are only about 240 kids in the whole school...so over crowding is not a problem...@}----xoxo |
Date: 10/13/2001 8:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
It would also be up to the parents to make sure that all the right testing is done to rule out many other possibilities for the right cause....looks like the mother lucked out and the problem was stumbled upon...some parents don't have enough guts to stand up and say hey...this is my kid...let's do this that and the other thing first...  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 8:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
Your right Azairyia, and also the schools sometimes tend to play on a parent's ignorance...which is sad really...@}----xoxo |
Date: 10/13/2001 9:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 21673
I DON'T think that children are placed on pills quite so easily. I DO THINK that children with reoccuring ear infections are much higher risk for ADHD, and so the above story makes complete sense. That is why babys born with some form of stress (ie. premature, cord around neck, etc)will develop ADHD symptoms as the grow older. ie. they cannot handle formula, are colicky, startle, wakeful, allergic, etc. Personally I believe that nuitriton and enviroment can help these children tremondously, as well as the old fashion removal of adnoids/tonsils.  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:06:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
I totally agree with that, Aziryia. This mom could very well have had her child on medication had she not seen a different dr. and relayed sleep symptoms to him. So, many parents are so quick to medicate. |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
LadyLuck, I don't know what to think about your daughters teacher then! |
Date: 10/13/2001 9:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 30421
Thank you for this!!! As an elementary education major and a minor in psychology, I think too many children get this label! I won't go into it  I would never tell a parent there child needs to be put on medication..I would however say that your child has problems focusing and I am willing to help in any way I can and let them choose....but I think the problem today is teachers are getting lazy and wanting to drug these kids so they will be easier to handle but anyways.......  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
Greyhound, you brought up some interesting points. I have heard that reoccurring ear infections could result in poor hearing or loss of hearing. Kids with poor hearing could be mistakingly diagnosed as having an attention disorder. |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:14:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
Maybe different/ improved teaching tactics would help a child pay attention more |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
I agree Angel Baby!! Some..and I stress SOME teachers are getting lazy, and are not taking the time with the children that is required...I will be the first to admit that my daughter CAN be a handful!! LOL...heck I live with her, so I know!! BUT, she is very smart and tends to get bored in school...therefore she gets easily distracted...If teachers would take the time..they would realize this..and attempt to challenge her more....My daughter is outspoken, direct, active and very smart....we call her our social butterfly...or our drama Queen...she has a very strong personality...LOL...but she does NOT have ADHD! @}----xoxo |
Date: 10/13/2001 9:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 11341
What about the kids that really do have ADHD? My son does, but before we put him on meds, we went to seminars, psychologysts, psychiotrists, family doctor, and 3 other general practitioners. We did not medicate 1st thing, but boy I cant imagine how my son would be without them. When I tell people he has ADHD most of them just roll their eyes and say its just a cop out. As for the lady in your post I wish we were as lucky as she. (I dont have ADHD, I just cant spell lol)  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 43655
I bet they didn't have all these syndromes and disorders back in the days of the one-room school house. Instead of a pill, it was the hickory switch or the rap of a ruler on the knuckles that corrected behavior. -Captain Skeezix- |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
Captain Skeezix, I have to agree with you there. |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:50:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
Do you guys think if a child (not necessarily your child) is prescribed ritalin and gets better he may be diagnosed with ADHD because he got better? |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
I think that just because a child shows "signs" of improvement on ritalin that it doesnt necessarily mean that they have ADHD...its a drug that slows them down....even a normal child would be affected by this drug...@}----xoxo |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 30421
Anybody who takes Ritalin is going to focus better! That's what the drug is for. |
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Date: 10/13/2001 9:56:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 277
Exactly, Angel. |
Date: 10/13/2001 10:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 26303
Well the teachers at our school really hate kids having to be on meds. Here it seems the docs and a lot of parents find it much easier to put the kids on medication, than dealing with anything else. We do have one kid doctor who really doesn't like putting kids on the meds, he would rather the parents look into parenting courses first. He feels that alot of todays problems are due to lack of parent discipline, or consistency. But so many parents dismiss him and go find a doc to put the kids on meds. I think this is so sad! I'm glad all turned out well with this family. Take care,  |
Date: 10/13/2001 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 3263
Wowwwww....I work at a medical clinic, and we have quite a few people who come in for ADD or ADHD; makes ya wonder how many are misdiagnosed...very bad, especially since the meds are pretty bad for ya!!!  |
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Date: 10/13/2001 10:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 43941
well, im glad that the docter she saw was able to see the "real" problem. i have ADD and they had me put on meds when i was three. but they knew for sure that i had ADD. in most cases, the child is somewhat abusive to things that are defensless to them. not to mention that they are extremely hyper active. they started testing me for ADD when i was three, after finding me dangling my aunt's cat by its tail in to the toilet. (i feel so bad about that now!)but back to my point, for some children medication is the only way to control ADD. some cases are more severe than others. some kids need meds., some dont. i do however think, some parents do use ADD as an excuse for thier childrens behaivor, and they think medication will solve thier problem. when infact it is plain and simple bad parenting. *eriksgirl21* |
Date: 10/14/2001 12:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
Ohhhhhh, I totally AGREE with this... I think a lot of teachers want Ritilin to babysit the kids for them!!!! And maybe some parents too... There is just NO way there are that many kids today with that disorder, compared to 10 years ago... 15 years ago... 20 years ago!!!! I mean that to in the "per capita" sense. I sure wish MORE doctors would be more careful in handing drugs to children... Great post...  |
Date: 10/14/2001 6:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
I'm taking my 3 year old to a psychologist next week. She has a epilepsy, but also has signs of ADHD, I don't know if it is part of her seizure disorder or if in fact she is ADHD. I do know that before she went on the seizure medication my life was a living hell. We literally were prisoners in our own home because we could not take her any place. Since she went on the meds her behaviour has improved and her seizures are controlled, but she still cannot focus. She is very intellegent and verbal, but she doesn't know her colors or numbers because she can't sit long enough to learn them. I really want the problem diagnosed before she begins school....Kelly  |
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Date: 10/14/2001 12:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
You know I just have to address a couple of comments here. First of all kids 20 and 30 years ago were not exposed to the kinds of chemicals and stuff that we are today. There are all different kinds of products out there that weren't around 20 and 30 years ago. Including preservatives, toxins AND lets not forget most immunizations. There is no telling what causes some kids to be hyper or inattentive than another. I can tell you from experience as most parents can. The stages of ADHD come up when children are in the toddler stage. Its not just something that develops later in life. I have been through everything you can think of with my daughter. And let me tell you a hickory switch DOES NOT work. I could tell by the time my daughter was 9 months old that something was not right. I even had people asking me what was wrong with me because all I did was yell and scream and punish her constantly when in years before with babysitting and family parties I was always the one that was great with the kids. I kept telling people there was something wrong but I just couldn't tell. 9 out of 10 times kids with ADHD are a danger to themselves, other siblings and family members living in the household. There is no such thing as danger. Climbing up bookshelves and onto stoves, hanging out of windows, breaking free from a parent and running into the street is a common thing. No matter how hard you try teaching them that it hurts is almost impossible. Its almost like in order to get them to understand that the stove is hot they have to get burnt first to understand. Public places are a nitemare because you could literally choke your child when they won't sit, won't stop turning around to hang over the other people at the table behind you. They are too loud, running away from you and into everything. Its not a behavorial problem and its not something the parents are doing wrong. When a parent is approached about the subject of ADHD because medical guidelines state that the behavior must be present in places outside the home. Naturally its going to start at preschool or school itself because it tends to be the first social situation that kids are involved in other than being outside the home. With all of the babysitting I did I can tell you first hand that my cousin was a monster at home. 4 years old she would take off out of the house and be blocks away from home. My aunt would go get her bruise her butt and she would go right back to doing it. I would babysit her and she was an angel. THAT would constitute as a child that has a behavior problem and knows what buttons to push and with what people. My daughter acts the same everywhere she goes. No matter who you are or what you are doing she is the same in all situations. I was waiting for the teacher to approach me and infact I couldn't wait, because I knew and had known for almost 3 years that this was a problem and it was one that I could not control myself. I like most parents can tell early on that there is a significant problem. It's not as easy as most people think to get a child medicated or even diagnosed for that matter. I went through 6 months of testing and evaluations with my daughter. She was seen by a developmental doctor, a school psychologist, a special education teacher, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist and a speech therapist. Her diet and allergies were looked into. All her developmental stages happened early. She was an early crawler, walker, etc. Everything from the time she was conceived was looked at. They wanted all her medical records, my records from my pregnancy and delivery. Board meetings were held to determine her needs and it was recommended by all that she be placed in an integrated program with special education teachers. There is more staff and less children and lots of one on one time. Her other class was 12 kids and 3 aids. One of them had to sit with her the entire time. None of the other 11 kids needed that much attention, just her. At story time she had to sit on the reader's lap or story time didn't happen. The teachers and the aids were literally exhausted by the time the 2 hours was over with and she was always the first one called to leave the room. They as I were not equipped to deal with her needs and they got the ball rolling for the testing. I am thankful to them every day because they have given my daughter the best chance she can hve. All to often problems with children like this are not caught until they are 8 or 9 adn by that time, with cruelty from other kids, failing grades, and everything else. They have no self esteem and it becomes an even bigger problem. Now my daughter is not medicated. They will not medicate her and its not even an option until she is at least 7 or 8. Will I take the medication for her? That is something I can't say right now because that is 4 years down the road. A lot can happen in her development before then. If she needs it yes she will go on it and as a parent, after all avenues have been explored and used that is my choice to do what I feel is best for my child. No one will push me or force me into medicating her, it will be my decision. All I am saying is there have been great successes with the medication. Family members of mine (which they are looking into the possibility of it being hereditary) have taken this medication and it has worked wonders for them. What people need to understand is, its not just medication. Its the parents, teachers, doctors and the medication working together on a whole that make the process of growing up with these problems something successful. It is not and should not be treated like here take this pill and it solves the problems. I would be willing to bet that 9 out 10 times its the parents that are in neglect of that, not the medical community. What I find most interesting about children like my daughter is things that generally have one effect on a normal developing child have a totally different effect on children like her. Just for instance caffiene. Most people young and adult alike bounce off the walls with caffiene. Sugar the same thing. Hand my daughter a glass of soda and she is a totally different child.....There is just so much more to the issue of medication then people know..... |
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Date: 10/15/2001 6:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
Azairyia, you described myself and my daughter in your post. I have an older daughter who is 12. She is well-mannered and well behaved. If you had asked me 4 years ago (before my second daughter was born) if I thought I was a good mother I would have said "Yes" without thinking twice. Now it seems I'm at the end of my rope. I have no patience left, I'm exhausted, I'm tired of hearing my own voice constantly saying, stop, don't do that, don't hurt the dog, stop, don't, don't hurt the dog, NO, NO, NO! I'm not so much sick of my daughter as sick of myself not being able to handle her in a calm and reasonable way. I resolve that I will talk to her in a low, soothing voice (the way my super-mom sister-n-law talks to her kids), but at some point during the day I explode. I have found her on top of the refrigerator, climbing shelves, doing flips off the couch. One time she was in our fenced-in back yard and I looked out the back window to find her looking in at me...She had somehow climbed up a high ledge to the window just to give mommy a heart-attack I think. As soon as she could walk (at 10 months) she would close her eyes, turn her head and run. She either has a death wish or is a dare-devil. Her laungage is something to behold. We go through alot of soft soap trying to clean the foul laugage up. I'm not saying I want her medicated, I don't think ridlen and her seizure medication go together anyway, I just want someone to teach me how to teach her right from wrong and some basic manners before she goes to school. It's not just me that can't handle her. My own family won't watch her. They use to fight over my older daughter and take her for a week at a time. I feel hurt and frustrated that they don't want my youngest, at the same time I understand why because I live with it every day......Kelly |
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Date: 10/15/2001 12:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
Kelly I have the similiar problems except with the language problem...my daughter doesn't use foul language she has as normal kids to repeating what she hears here and there..but the other problems sound all too alike. My daughter walked at 9 months and within two weeks she was running. I have also found her hanging out the second story window and just a few months back she took her baby brother outside at 6:30am in the morning into my fenced in backyard and the neighbor called the cops on me. I would suggest that first you have in order for any doctor to pay attention and sit up and take notice is to put her in preschool. Let them deal with the problems and see what they come up with..That is what I had to wait for. Once the teacher starts voicing concerns there should be some kind of program for children with special needs that is run through your local school district. They can set you up with an appointment for her to be tested. They go through everything throughly at least they did here. She should be tested for hearing, her cognitive abilities, an occupational needs, her speech and everything. Also and do it even without a referal because I had to take her to a developmental doctor. You should be able to call a physicians network and see if there are doctors in your area that deal with developmental delays in children. It is always a benefit to have a developmental doctor go along with what is going on to push her to be put into an intergrated classroom. They have both special needs kids and normally developing children in these classes so its not like she would be singled out or in the "retard class" like some like to rudely refer it as. My daughter goes 5 days a week from 8am in the morning until 2pm in the afternoon. She even goes through the summer so that there is no transition period being away so long. What I found in her first preschool was that on Tuesday and Wednesday she was a monster, Thursday her behavior was much better, if they went on Friday they would probably have had little problems with her, but she would have to go 4 days before going again and then it was all brand new and bounce off the wall times. I have woken up to my house filled with smoke. Everything in my refrigerator torn out...makeup all over the place, nail polish the walls covered in crayon....I know what you are going through and its a rough road for some of us to even get someone to play attention to the problems. Also here they offer in home counseling where the school psychologist will come to your home and teach you and the rest of the family different techniques of handling the outrageous behavior that comes on certain days. I know from experience that some days cause more turmoil than others especially when you wake up to the eggs all over the kitchen or the boxes of jello all over the floor mixed up with the water from the dogs dish. I always knew what kind of day it would be the minute I got out of bed. This class has worked wonders for her and I encourage that you look into something like this. The school board pays for the entire thing and they even provide transportation and my daughter LOVES the bus!.....The hard part is proving that she qualifies...just out of curiosity is she social? What I mean is when there are other kids around does she play with them? My daughter used to until kids were mean to her and its almost like she realzed that she did not belong in a group setting. That was one of the main things that also made her qualify because she did not socially interact with the kids at school. They would all sit down and play with a toy together, like the incident that the psychologist saw was 3 of the kids including my daughter sitting down playing with bed bugs. The other 2 children were having a conversation about bugs as they played and my daughter just sat there and played by herself and didn't partake in the conversation. She kinda sat on the outside looking in. That is why I think that something like this is very important to a childs self esteem. I like you will not go to relatives house for dinner on holidays anymore because the other children were allowed to treat my daughter horribly and nothing was said to them. My mom and dad and my family do things now...Sometimes families don't understand...and I know how bad that makes you feel as a parent....Something like this changes you also. You lose self esteem in what you are doing because there are 30 people on the outside with the lines....Oh bring her over here I will take care of her...she will be an angel by the time I get done with her!....couldn't you just slap people like that....LOL...it makes you feel like YOU are doing something wrong and you are not. YOU are doing the BEST JOB that you can with the situation that has been placed in front of you. It's getting easier and gets better when they get older. They begin to understand you more and they understand things like the reward system and about the benefits of learning to control the behavior. They just need a little push from someone trained to handle it. I will tell you honestly, the school that my daughter goes to and the teachers that she have are excellent. The boss of these teachers is my sister in laws mom. I had a long talk with her while all the testing was going on and being done at the school. I told her with everything that she has done to date I have been paranoid since she was a year old that social services was going to come to home and take her away. And then I have days when I wish they would come. It sounds horrible and when I had told my mother she was really upset with me and said just ship her up to me...she doesn't understand the entire thing. She doesn't live with this day to day. I was so relieved when they told me those feelings were absolutely normal and its not uncommon for parents with children such as her to feel. it wasn't the first time she had heard that from a parent, she wasn't appalled or even shocked. She was sympathetic because she understood. It took an enormous weight off my shoulders because i spent so many nights crying when I had those thoughts because after all she is my child and I love her and you are not supposed to be feel resentment towards them. I feel much better and I cope much better knowing that its okay for me to have days where I give up, as long as she doesn't know that I have given up. Any feelings you are having are totally and completely normal no matter what they are. You just have to keep in mind that its a long road, its a struggle daily which you already know and there is many years to come of it...find ways to take time out for you and refresh yourself and just try and keep in mind...this is no one's fault, there is no one to blame and reapproach the situation in a different light....I wish you the best! |
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Date: 10/16/2001 6:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
Your feelings about wanting social services to take your daughter is EXACTLY how I have felt on occasion. I've even made a joke about it a time or two. My daughter was out, naked at 6:30 one morning in the front yard. That is when I bought chain locks for the door. There is one little girl in the neighborhood that she plays with fairly well. The other kids are "mean" as Madison says, so she doesn't play with them much. I'm looking for a pre-school beginning this week. My husband is in the military and we live on an Army post so I'm not sure what she qualifies for. She is enrolled in the special needs program here on post because of her epilepsy, so I think I should be able to get her into some kind of program....Kelly |
