Alone Again....RedRiot

Well Chris broke up with me again. I can't say I'm really upset though. I was waiting for it. That's why when he called and said, "I'm just calling to let you know that it's over." I just smiled to myself and said, "I know." I hung up the phone and stared into the faces of my friends and my brother and tried to hold back the tears. I had known that it was over, but I tried to force it to work. I thought, when I get home we're going to be happy like we used to be, and we're going to work things out and get married and have babies. I wanted to. I wanted to see his smiling face through the eyes of my children. I knew he would always take care of me, not that I'd ever let myself be helpless. I had it all planned out. I came home and beat him to his house. So I called him and he was on his way home. I told him I'd be in the shower. When he came walking in and I pulled back that curtain to see his smiling face I smiled back, but I knew it was all wrong. Something in the way he smiled at me. Something in the way he kissed me. Something in him made me forget all those plans I had made and I couldn't wait to leave. Three days later we broke up. He can always sense when I'm ready to give up. He hasn't called. I haven't called. Maybe this time we won't. Maybe this time I'll have the strength to be alone. He was a lot of firsts for me, that's why it's so hard to let go. I just don't want to do the things that I did with him with anyone else. I need a sign. No I don't. I need a spine.

I'm getting better at this individual thing.

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