Christ demands more money, (from the Onion) ***Shelly***

If any of you saw the last Harry Potter post, I'd like to show you just what kind of rubbish this website put's out there. Do not think I believe anything I will be putting in the post. It was copied from the onion. Read this and tell me, how ridiculous it is to use quotes from a website like this to prove your point. They are obviously a satiristic site, no better, and no more belieavable, than the Enquirer. Taking something away from this website and using it as fact, only starts unfounded rumors. Let's try not to fall victim to this.



JERUSALEM—Dissatisfied with dwindling receipts in recent years, redeemer of humanity Jesus Christ issued a rare public statement Monday, sharply criticizing His followers' lack of generosity and demanding a marked increase in their contributions to the long-standing religion based upon belief in Him.

"Historically, I have asked for no more than 10 percent of the total earnings of my flock," said Christ in a 25-minute statement aired on Christian television stations throughout the world, including Trinity Broadcasting Network, Eternal Word Television, and Cristo Telemundo. "But recent cost analyses by my accountants indicate that current donations from my believers are not at this level and are insufficient to meet my earthly financial needs."

Christ underscored his point with an earning/expenditure chart illustrating that in the first quarter of 1997, He listened to an average of 233 million prayers per day while collecting daily revenues of $6 million.

"This works out to just two and a half cents per prayer, which barely even covers my overhead," Christ said. "If this sort of fiscal imbalance continues, I may have to answer even fewer prayers in the future."

"In my Father's house are many mansions," Christ said. "They are not cheap to maintain."

Christ cited Warner Robins, GA, resident Willard Baines as a prime example of the sort of tight-fisted follower with whom He is frustrated.

"Mr. Baines owns a grain-and-feed business that takes in some $800,000 a year, thanks in no small part to his faith in Me. Yet, last Sunday, he put just a single dollar in his church's collection plate," Christ said. "If I am not mistaken, this works out to a donation of just .00010052 percent of his overall gross-adjusted income for the said fiscal period, a far cry from the recommended 10 percent."

"He also lusted after his niece on two occasions," the Savior said.

Christ assured followers that He still possesses a boundless love for all humanity and that those who accept Him into their hearts will know salvation and everlasting life in Heaven, but expressed frustration over the feeling that He has "not, in my estimation, been getting my love's worth in return."

So now tell me, do you believe, Christ said these things? And do you believe that JK Rowling said those things in the previous post? Me thinks not. ***Shelly***

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