Date: 9/23/2001 7:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 23101
WOW I don't know what to say... He has a daughter! WOW You know I can't help you there.. I am in shock myself!  Love,  |
Date: 9/23/2001 7:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 42523
That happens alot..It is shocking..All I can say is ask him about it..And yes I would be upset too..HDFroggie  |
Date: 9/23/2001 7:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 38726
Don't jump to conclusions right away.Give him the benifit of the doubt first.If your friend was even correct, they'r is probably a good reason for the silence....Let us know how it turns out...Rnbowpride7  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 30112
No it's not wrong to be upset, but I wouldn't go alover him about eather. If he really has a child and was able to keep it a secret for 6 months, then he's probably left the child to be cared for by the mother. Of course I don't know a whole lot about this kind of thing. Dark  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 42461
Yes I would be upset. Trust is a big issue here if he never told you he had a kid. But if I was you I would just sit down and tell him how you feel about it and let him tell you how he feels. I hope everything turns out ok. BethieMoo  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 17876
well i'm thinking that after six months he should have told you!!! In fact he should have been honest right from the beginning! I would question him and get all of the facts straight.  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
he's kept it secret for a reason...it's one thing if he abandoned the kid, another if that part of his past is better off not being re-lived...e.g. the mother is such a b**** he chooses not to have anything to do w/her, at the kid's xpense. you never know. cheers, -tugger  |
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Date: 9/23/2001 8:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
joc how does he react when you talk abt kids, assuming you have. if perchance you haven't you might wanna keep an eye on his reaction if you were to casually bring up the subject. cheers, -tugger |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 38849
One, I wouldn't be upset about it.. because there could be a very good reason he hasn't mentioned her(assuming he does have a daughter), such as maybe he lost custody of her, maybe his visitation was restricted for whatever reason... perhaps he is paying child support.
To be honest with you, too many things could be a reason he doesn't tell you, including he doesn't really have a daughter. But tell him, one of your friends mentioned, and ask him. But don't seem upset about it.  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 28848
Wow, that's strange. I think that I would be upset too. It sounds as though he has no part in the childs life as you said. If that's the case, I'm not sure I would want to be with someone like that. But you don't know what is going on yet. This could be a case of mistaken identity. So try to stay calm and just talk to him about it. If he denies it, I think that I would investigate further. Good Luck.  |
Date: 9/23/2001 8:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 42602
Be careful when approaching him about the subject. Sometimes there are underlying circumstances. And who knows, maybe your friend was mistaken. (You can always hope  *hugs* kandbmom  |
Date: 9/23/2001 9:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 277
I would be a little upset since he never told you. But, you don't know what the situation is. His daughters mother could have brainwashed the kid with a bunch of crap about him and she doesn't want to speak with him. And maybe the kid never returns his calls. He could have removed all the pictures of her out of sight in his house because it hurts him to see her face. Just hear the guy out. Also, make sure your friend is talking about the right guy and make sure she's right about him having a daughter too before you confront him.  |
Date: 9/23/2001 9:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 42676
It takes time for things like that. Maybe he wasnt ready to reveal that yet. It takes more than 6 months to know a person...Capitol  |
Date: 9/23/2001 11:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 39258
i went out with a guy for about 4 months and then he told me he had a kid... i was sooooo surprised .... but he wanted to make sure he knew me well enough and trust me to tell me... and it wasn't like he kept his daughter a secret because he was ashamed, but it was because most girls would run off... he loved his daughter very very much... so if you really like the guy... give him a chance... he sounds like he really likes you... so hes probably taking things slow -telsha  |
Date: 9/24/2001 2:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 35705
That guy needs some confessing to do, dont ya think? If he hasnt said anything in 6 months then yeah, id say u should ask him about it. dont get too mad, just listen to his opinion on the situation and if hes a useless father then i wouldnt want him for a bf! U need to act upon ur own intuition. when times comes and this is about to take place u will know what u want to say, im sure. This is child, not a toy!  |
Date: 9/24/2001 6:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 42259
You can really tell a lot about a guy by the way he treats his kids.What I would be worried about is if you had kids with him would he treat them the same way?Another thing you might want to consider is what if she was wrong or mixed him up with someone else?Maybe he does'nt have a kid at all..let us know how this turns out..good luck!~prairiedawn~  |
Date: 9/24/2001 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 36459
When I started dating after my divorce, I often met women who did not want to have anything to do with children. This didn't stop me from telling ladies that I had kids, in fact, it became one of the first things I let them know. Sort of separating the chaff from the wheat if you know what I mean. But anyway, I thought of two things when I read your story. 1. That he really doesn't have a child at all, or 2. That he really isn't involved and doesn't like to talk about it. If I were dating a person who had a child and wasn't involved with them I would be concerned. I have heard many excuses from men and women as to why they aren't involved with their children and honestly, I haven't heard one yet that didn't reflect on a lack of character regarding that person (doesn't mean one doesn't exist, I just haven't heard it yet) I think that talking honestly about it with him is the right first step. I would be interested in hearing why he never mentioned her if he does in fact have a daughter. Take care  |
Date: 9/24/2001 3:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 31410
You totally have the right to be upset. He should have told you, at least by now. He probably didn't know how you would react. So he didn't say anything, or he just doesn't know how to tell you. I would talk about kids, or mention how youlove kids when he's around. maybe he'll feel guilty and say something. Then again, maybe your friends have him confused with somebody else. YOu never know. crazygirl  |
6358 Category:(General Advice) Created:(9/23/2001 7:46:00 PM)