Date: 6/13/2001 7:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
Either go to marriage counselling if you want to try and work things out, or get out and live your life  |
Date: 6/13/2001 7:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 14780
oh CPM...i felt this exact way too..and its sooo hard! I cant realy tell you what to do as in leaving or making him leave but just hang in there and maybe things will be better tomarrow. Just be with your kids and if its really hard maybe then maybe it was meant to happen and slpit for a little while...even better can you stay with relatives or even him..... maybe a little vacation away from each other for a little while..i will keep you in my thoughts..and it does get better...i promise!  |
Date: 6/13/2001 7:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 28848
Thanks for posting guys. But I don't think that a vacation can fix this prob. We never spend any time together now, don't even talk.  |
Date: 6/13/2001 7:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
Oh hon do I ever know what you are going through...that is exactly how my first husband was!! Very controlling and it was so unlike me to take it..but take it I did! Not that I am defending your husband in any way, but do you think maybe the fact that he is not working right now is affecting him? You know men and their egos...Although it in no way excuses his behaviour it could explain it a little..from what you have said he is a very macho type man, and the thought of not being able to provide for his family properly is making him even nastier than usual. Before making any decision you need to ask yourself a couple questions #1. Is what is going on in your home good for your children...is it affecting them in any way? #2. Do you still love him or is he just a habit that is hard to break? #3. Do you want to spend the next however many years with a man that has no respect for you and does not value you as a human being? These are the questions I had to ask myself years ago..My decision was that if I were to stay with him I would have more problems with my children in the future..No I did not love him..I was just scared to be alone...scared I couldnt make it on my own with three kids..and there was no way in heck I was going to put up with this bull for the next 30 or 40 years..so I got out..I divorced him and am now happily married to the most wonderful man god ever created!!! xoxo Ladyluck  |
Date: 6/13/2001 7:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 30747
oh you poor thing. I wish I could just hug you right now. I'm not one for giving marriage advice. Besides, I think you already know the answer to this one. It's not going to be easy no matter what you do but ya wanna know what? You are going to be just fine because you are strong and smart and you are not alone. I hope it all works out for you hon. If you need a shoulder to cry on message me...*hugs*  |
Date: 6/13/2001 7:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 17560
I feel bad for you...what does he do on the computer all day?? Have you ever checked to find out? I wish I knew what to say to you or help you somehow...Life IS too short...totally agree with ya there...take care...  |
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Date: 6/13/2001 7:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 28848
You guys are so great. Thanks ladyluck, I do think about those things all the time. And I am scared. I didn't get married for the fun of it, I wanted it to be for life. But I don't want to feel this way any more. |
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Date: 6/13/2001 7:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
I know exactly what you mean..when I got married the first time I naturally assumed it was for life also..I grew up in a very religious home and divorce was totally out of the question..I went through so many different emotions before I made my decision to leave..from guilt, to anger, to despair, to fear...they are all natural...but in the end I knew that what I was doing was the right thing to do...I hope you can eventually find some peace hon, and I am here if you ever wish to talk...xoxo Ladyluck |
Date: 6/13/2001 11:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 27046
Well hon what a situation. It definately sounds like this is a not a relationship and that its total abuse to your self esteem. He has put you down and made you feel worthless for so long and you are exactly where you need to be right now to see it. You accepted it before because you loved him. Love has turned to hate and you know that is telling you right there its time to go. This is exactly how it was with my sister and she just left my brother in law. You know that you need to go and don't believe a word of what he tells you. You can finish school and still leave him. That is why there is assistance. They will help you complete your education so you can get a decent job making decent money to support your children on your own. Don't let him belittle you into making you believe that you can't do alone. You can, if you believe in yourself and you work hard at it, it will happen! Whether you are on his bank accounts or not. You are entitled to half of EVERYTHING that was acquired during your marriage. You are right life is too short and everyone deserves to be happy. It will be hard as you know, but I can guarentee you, no matter what you struggle through or how bad it gets you will still come back with happiness when you think about your decision to leave him. My sister is not having an easy time right now at the moment but she would never go back. What she is going through now is short term, she can make it through it, and so will you! I wish you the best of luck hon....  |
