Date: 5/29/2001 9:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 28946
I'd feel betrayed and really hurt! But I'd tactfully ask what the deal was. Explain your feelings and see what happens. I'd also ask your ex.'s opinion.  |
Date: 5/29/2001 9:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
Yes I would definitely feel betrayed! but from the sounds of things they werent expecting to see your ex there either..are you sure they invited him? maybe he just heard through the grapevine about the party and your kids wanted to go so he took them to the party?? You should make it a point to ask your friends about this..If the friendship is still going on when they told you that it wasnt, then yes definitely you should feel betrayed..I know I would..xoxo Ladyluck  |
Date: 5/29/2001 9:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21376
Actually LadyLuck (Hi) my Ex would never go somewhere he wasn't invited.EVER! Not to mention during our marraige he may have 2 times ever gone to any of these friends party's or functions! He always had an excuse to get out of it, he never really cared for them either.No,I know they invited him, he never would have gone otherwise. And my kids knew nothing about this party, It was more for Adults than children.Their partys userly are.  |
Date: 5/29/2001 9:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 20104
Diana, I would feel totally betrayed. Why couldnt they just be honest with you if they were friends with your ex. Thats also not at all fair that you spend all this time with their daughter and they dont even have the nerve to invite you. I would be really mad at them. You should seriously sit them down and talk to them!!!!  |
Date: 5/29/2001 9:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 17340
I wpuld discuss the situation with them and find out
exactly what is going on. It sounds like a solid friendship and maybe there is some sort of explaination.  |
Date: 5/29/2001 10:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 26265
I agree with the other comments, ask whats going on, and ask their opinions too. Good luck  !  |
Date: 5/29/2001 10:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 31707
I would Feel completely betrayed, go out, find new friends, they are not worth it!  |
Date: 5/29/2001 10:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 36459
Hi Diana; The balls in your court!! You can turn this tragedy into a triumph!! Talk to your friend. Let her know that you are aware of the relationship with your EX. Assure her that you know that it must be uncomfortable to the friends of divorced couples, but that there is no need to keep things from you. Put the relationship on the right track, don't be angry and set the stage for the future!! Surely, you have great plans for your future!! Start making them happen today. Let people know that lying (or hiding the truth) is not necessary! The choice is yours -- Be Bitter or Be Better. Warm Regards, ~ Chooselife  |
Date: 5/29/2001 10:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 20296
why dont you call her and tell her that you were offended? if she is a real friend, then she will understand...and if not, well no real loss. I understand why you would be just a little hurt. *huGz* hope ya feel better soon di  |
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Date: 5/29/2001 10:33:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21376
OMG! Here I figured you guys were right I should talk to them so I called their home and was going to leave a message to call me. My friend was home! Their daughter was sick again. Allergys. Anyways I asked her how her party was and she turned all rude. She told me she and her husband invited him, and figured I was working anyways and then told me please don't ask us to chose between you two! OMG!!! Never in a million years would I ever do that and this is the third person who asked me not to make them chose!So I told her what I told the other 2! "I would never ask you to chose between us, nor would I ever expect you to lie to me all this time.So If you can't chose then I will chose for you!You can keep him,I am no longer going to be used or lied to by you or anyone else.There its settled. Oh and I sent Emmy her gift." Then I hung up! I have been bawling and shakeing ever since. |
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Date: 5/29/2001 10:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 20104
Awwww Diana. Your poor thing. Everything will be ok. |
Date: 5/29/2001 10:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 160
Maybe that's part of the problem, people only treat you the way you allow them to. When did you give them permission to use you as a doormat? I wouldn't even confront the friend, I would however find myself busy when they need a babysitter. P.S. Find friends that are not users.  |
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Date: 5/29/2001 11:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 28946
Glad you confronted them Hon. It took alot of courage. But if they know you and your ex have a fairly good relationship then they wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry. |
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Date: 5/29/2001 11:15:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 21376
Thanks everyone, you were right I had to ask her what the deal was.I never expected her to act or ask me of all things not to make them chose.The fact was they never had a nice thing to say about him these past 4 years.He would start telling me something about what he heard about my Ex and I would tell him I didn't even want to know! Its just that they lied to me! had they been friends all along I wouldn't care.He would be the one telling them to chose not me!I even told her about how bad I felt when the other 2 said the same thing.And maybe thats where she got it from. I sure hope she doesn't lose her job because her child is sick! Sorry I am an Adult! I feel childish, But that was so hurtful.I do have alot of other great friends,who wouldn't do this, but then I never expected them to either. Sighs I will just move on but will miss the kids terribly. |
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Date: 5/29/2001 11:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 36459
Diana, I'm sorry it went so poorly. Take some time now to CAREFULLY consider what you should have said and then what you will say. I think that you may have started off too confrontational by saying "How was your party" and put your friend on the defensive. Do try again, but PLAN what you will say. Have a theme of working this out. ~ Chooselife |
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Date: 5/29/2001 11:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 31707
you'll be alright!!! |
Date: 5/29/2001 12:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 33979
Diana, I'm sorry!  She shouldn't have been rude to you, or said what she said. Let's see how many "favors" your EX does for them. We'll see who's a better friend. I especially liked the way she tried to turn it around on you saying "Please don't ask us to choose between you two" What crap! I would have loved to say...."Well then, how about the next time you need me to watch your kids on my day off, or so you can have some time to yourself, you ask (EX's name) to do it." "Apparently I'm good enough to do you favors, but I'm not quite good enough to invite over" Something to that effect anyways! This kind of stuff just really pisses me off. There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Givers and Takers. Unfortunatley she seems like a taker. The only time things ever work is out is when both people are givers. You've given, and you've given, and so on. You need to find someone as giving as yourself to be friends with. It won't take long for her to figure out just how royally she's screwed up! Good luck and keep us posted! |
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Date: 5/29/2001 12:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 33979
By the way....don't let her upset you! Just take comfort in knowing that it's her loss! |
Date: 5/29/2001 12:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 9828
I would definately feel betrayed. That is so wrong of them to do that o you. Freind sdon't act like that. I'm so sorry. People shouldn't be like that, but they are =(  |
