Great Truths About Growing Old

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing upis optional. 2. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. 3. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5. Perhaps you know why women over 50 don't have babies: they put them down somewhere and forget where they left them. 6. One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make a person gain 5 pounds. 7. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. 8. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. 9. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. 10. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. 11. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes along. 12. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 13. Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. 14. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. Look for the 4 Stages of Life. Enjoy! Payne