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Date: 3/28/2001 10:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 1574
I was in my early 20's when I made up my mind to pack up my stuff and head out to New York in persuit of a Hollywood career. ( NY is the second Hollywood) Well, things went great for a while when I found myself with out food, or money. The money I did have, I had to keep to pay my rent which at the time was 1,700 dollars for a one bed room one bath apartment. The money that was left over was used for tokens to get around the subways of Manhattan. You won't beleive this...but I didn't eat for almost 2 and a half weeks. It was all water. I lost alot of weight and at some point I ended up stealing my food from vendors on the street. It was bad. I remember sitting at home one night, without electricity mind you, just a candle and my bible. Oh yeah, That's what I did for 5 months...lol..just read my bible and try to find what exactly it was that God wanted me to do. Let me just say It was his will for me to go through what I went. Now it wasn't the first time this has happened to me...infact during my stay in New York it happened a total of 3 times. I know this is what I need to do with my life and I know that this is what God wants me to do with my life. The doors were opened for me. I beleive I grew close to him during that time. And that's why I get to do what I love to do most, and that's make movies. I'm still a pee on in this business, but The light seems much brighter now. My goals of getting a gold statue and saying the words..." I'd like to thank the Academy..." are very close...that's it...that's part of my story. I can't share all of it, not because I'm ashamed or anything, but I bonded with my Lord, and that's private to me. Thanks.  |
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Date: 3/28/2001 11:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13354
AMEN Jedi!!! What a wonderful testimony... It really touched me... I also hope you will be able to go to the very top in your career... We hear SO MUCH about the negative aspects of suffering. I just wanted to help people try to reflect on some of the positive things about it. I really do think there are positive things about it if we want to see them. I know during my hardest physical battles, I drew much closer to the Lord. I'm now better physically than I thought I would get after my accident but I'm not as good as I would like to be, in a way... If it meant being totally better and me not being as close to God, I choose to stay where I am. I know being this way is not only a humbling experience for me but it is also an experience that helps me to stay focussed on God. The financial struggles we went through early in our marriage I look back on and feel very grateful for as well. I think of how MUCH we have learned and grown from these things... God did not allow us to do better until we were able to handle it... I have learned how to be a really good cook because of all of this. My husband seems to think I'm the best cook around. Of course I will just let him believe that... lol... I can take almost nothing and make a GREAT meal out of it. This did not come from having a hired chef. I'm a pretty good seamstress too. This was because of need. My husband is a wonderful mechanic. We never take one of our cars to the shop to be fixed. We have learned how to do remodel and even build. I've learned SO MANY things and so have my husband and kids. Things that are PRICELESS!!! I could go on and on naming them off... My kids are more humble than some kids... What kind of a price can you put on things like that. I just THANK GOD for even those hard times. He really has turned them around and blessed us with them... PRAISE GOD!!!  |
Date: 3/29/2001 12:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 12413
I learned through my own suffering that it is OK to divorce yourself from negative people, relatives included. LESA.  |
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Date: 3/29/2001 10:20:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13354
Yes, you can't be around negative people all the time. People who constantly want to tear you down. These kind of people are very unhappy people... |
Date: 3/29/2001 10:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 9130
My stepmother has made me much of what I am. I dispise the woman for all the things she has done to me, but I wouldn't be who I am if it hadn't been for her. She constantly silenced me throughout my life and because of that I speak out now when I feel I should. I turned to God many times when she did the things she did, and without him I would have never gotten through those years of hell...(don't think that I was horribly abused... I am not trying to give the wrong idea, she didn't beat me) She made me her slave for 13 years and treated me like I was worthless but without her who knows, maybe I would be a totally different person.  |
Date: 3/29/2001 1:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Some of the things I have been through has helped me to understand people better that has also gone through it, it gives me more compassion in certain situations.  |
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Date: 3/29/2001 1:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13354
Well Dizzy, You certainly have used these hard times to make you a better person... We really enjoy you around here... I'm sorry you had to go through tough things though. I know it was REALLY hard. I often reflect on what kind of person I would have been without hard times. I know many people do not agree with me but I feel like I have needed them. I'm not saying that God sends hard times but He certainly USES these times in our lives to our advantage if we allow Him to. |
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Date: 3/29/2001 3:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 29928
Not only do you learn compassion, but you also gain vast knowledge that can help others in similar situations. Suffering is not waisted...It is all in God's plan. Hugs, Pammie  |
Date: 4/4/2001 1:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 18506
I used to wonder why I got the parents I got. There was so much negativity to be seen( and I am not referring to my step father though, alls he did for me is made me aware at how many little girls (and boys) have to suffer because of them...anyway, I learned the love of music from my father and his "freedom" I loved motorcycles and nature and all those kinds o things, even though he divorced my mother early in my life. with my mom I eventually learned about prayer and spiritualitly (and my father too, just a different version) I learned how much I needed my mom just to hold me sometimes (now) I learned how sorry she was for all the bad things she did to us kids, and now she feels she must make it up to us, but she doesnt because I have already forgiven her. I learned to keep my skin healthy and she still says to this day how I dress like she did 20 years ago. I have also realized something very deep. my mother being christian and my dad being buddah, I respect them both for there beliefs, and my dad recently sent a book, very good and it sure does cover some wild things about out "world" I was really getting upset because I was trying to understand some things of the bible. but because of that book and other things, I DONT FEEL LIKE QUESTIONING anymore. god told me to come to him as a child. I want to believe that there is a heaven and there are angels and there is jesus. this book so far makes it if there is no spiritualality, we all come from aliens. So in disappointment to my father I am not buddahist, although without a doubt I am happy for anyone that can find peace. the secret to the universe is peace of mind, we allwant it and we all need it. without my parents guidance I wouldnt be this far in life with my knowledge. love and peace,  |
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Date: 4/4/2001 2:59:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13354
Well it doesn't seem to matter what religion your parents are if they loved you, you still love them... Your dad sounds like a good man and your mother does too... |
Date: 4/7/2001 6:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 7092
all though i have had some tough times in my life, i can't say i suffered. I have most likely caused most of it myself, {not being able to shut my mind off}. I would say with what i have been through has made me a better person, more understanding of things, and over all greatful for what i have...  |
Date: 9/30/2002 4:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 19927
i have to think on this one....  |
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