"TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE OF THE WORLD THINK AMERICANS ARE CRAZY:"

01. A pizza gets to our house faster than an ambulance.

02. There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.

03. Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

04. People order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

05. Banks leave two sets of front doors unlocked and open and then chain their pens to the counters.

06. We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

07. We use answering machines to screen calls and then have "call waiting" so we won't miss a call from someone we don't want to talk to in the first place.

08. We buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in package of eight.

09. We use the word "politics" to precisely describe our crazy process: "Poli" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "bloodsucking creatures".

10. We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.