Before and after Marriage

"BEFORE and AFTER MARRIAGE"

Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating.

Before - Twice a night. After - Twice a month.

Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation. After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before - Ricky & Lucy. After - Fred & Ethel.

Before - Saturday Night Live. After - Monday Night Football.

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars. After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

Before - Don't Stop. After - Don't Start.

Before - The Sound of Music. After - The Sound of Silence.

Before - Is that all you are eating? After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before - Wheel of Fortune. After - Jeopardy.

Before - It's like living a dream. After - It's a nightmare.

Before - $60/dozen. After - $1.50/stem.

Before - Turbocharged. After - Needs a jump-start

Before - We agree on everything! After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret. After - Fruit of the Loom.

Before - Feathers & handcuffs. After - Ball and chain.

Before - Idol. After - Idle.

Before - He's lost without me. After - Why can't he ask for directions?

Before - When together, time stands still. After - This relationship is going nowhere.

Before - Croissant and cappuccino. After - Bagels and instant coffee.

Before - Oysters. After - Fishsticks.

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other. After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

Before - Romeo and Juliet. After - Bill and Hillary..