Family can't get along anymore ~ Biku-chan

I'll try to keep it brief.

My mom never left her parents house because when she was a senior in high school, my grandpa got laid off. So she started working and all her money went to my grandparents to help pay bills and for the house. When her and my dad got married, he moved in and started helping as well. It worked until my grandparents' money kept getting tighter and tighter, and they couldn't split everything like they'd been doing. So now the house is paid off mostly because of my parents, and my grandparents only pay half of the groceries and half of the cable bill.

It got even worse when my dad got laid off last year. He can't find work so not only is he angry and scared, he has nothing to do. My grandparents are extremely nosy and stubborn because they're 83 years old and set in their ways...but it's getting hard for everyone.

My parents don't feel like this is their home, and when my mom and grandpa had a big argument a month ago he told her it wasn't...even though he hasn't paid anything for it in over 20 years. When they first got married he told them that if they could help pay, eventually the house would be theirs. And now he's telling my mom that it's not, that all the bills they pay is just like paying rent, which makes no sense at all.

Like today, my grandfather was coming home from somewhere and saw my dad taking the dog out to go to the bathroom. When my grandpa walked in the house, he closed the front door and locked it up even though he knew my dad would be right back. So my dad gets mad (because it's happened so many times before) and he starts banging on the door so hard it looked like it was about to come off the hinges. So now my grandparents are fighting with my dad and my mom is caught in the middle and it just never ends. She tries to tell him that he's not innocent but he's not completely at fault (which is true) My dad has told my mom twice in the past few weeks that he thinks he should just leave because he's "the cause of all the problems we're having."

I don't know if he's just saying it to make her stop arguing or if he really has been thinking about it...but I don't know what to do. I don't see my grandparents moving to an assisted living facility or with my aunt or uncle, and my parents and I are certainly not moving. But it's like we're all prisoners. My parents stay in their bedroom, never have anyone over because the living room is ALWAYS occupied by my grandparents who still feel this is THEIR house...we all just kind of avoid each other. I don't want my dad to leave, but if he does I know I have to be adult about it...I just can't imagine it. 20 years my family has always been together, I can't see us being split up. My family is falling apart and I can't fix it.

Is there anything we can do? We just have no money, and I guess that's why we're stuck. I want to find a job to help out, and I will...but I feel like it will end up like this for me. My dad got laid off, and I'm trying to save up for a wedding because I just got engaged...and when my fiance and I get married, he's most likely moving in here until we can get on our feet and get an apartment. I don't know what to do, I don't want to end up like this 20-30 years from now, avoiding my parents and pretty much seeing them as my enemies...

If anyone has any advice, please help...

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