Christmas miracles...I'm humbled.. I finally get it.. ~FieryMomOf2~

Today has just been...incredible. There's been a lot of reasons why I hadn't been really feeling the Christmas spirit, from just moving into a new house after losing our old one, to stressing over finances, to all the stuff that just doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Except for missing my Daddy, yeah, that one matters. I still ache at his absence, and I don't know if it will ever go away. Losing my husband 6 years ago 2 days after Christmas, despite what our marriage had become, losing my Daddy Dec 6th 3 years ago, mine and my parents shared wedding anniversary being today, yeah. It just got to where I was down and depressed and honestly when I woke up this morning, I almost wished I wouldn't have.

But then, something.. I dunno...I can't explain it. Things started to change. Attitudes, messages, phone calls. I won't bore you all to tears with the details of every nanosecond of the day, but...I end this day a humbled woman. I sat holding my Bible today, the one my parents got me when I graduated high school, and I just started reading random Psalms and Proverbs, 2 of my favorite books of the Bible. I found where I had highlighted various passages for one reason or another, left little bookmarks in places.

And peace descended. It's not about the presents under the tree, or about how much money you have in your bank account. I'd been so caught up in trying to give my kids a grandiose Christmas and getting down on myself when I couldn't afford the video games and various toys they wanted, that I lost sight of what truly matters. I don't mind admitting that part of that Christmas wish list posted here is for my kids. The "Dockers/Dickies" type pants and "Solid color polo shirts" were for my boys, because that is their school uniform. And someone has PM'ed me about that, but you know what? Prayer. Not only have I prayed, but I've had others pray for me, send good vibes, meditate, etc whatever their higher being/power/belief system ascribes to, and God has heard those prayers. My children will have a good Christmas.

My youngest son, Jacob, told me today when a Christmas angel showed up on our doorstep out of the blue, that it doesn't matter what presents are under the tree. He just wants our family together, because he and his brother have lost 2 critical males in their life in such a short time, that he wants to make the most out of each holiday before he loses anyone else.

So, in the midst of this, somehow I ended up with 2 turkeys. My mom has like 7 in her freezer from various leftover Thanksgivings, my brother getting them from work, my church giving me one, my aunt buying them on sale where she's worked for 30+ years, etc. My landlady seems to be lonely, like she has no one but her son. I asked her today if she'd like a turkey, and at first she said "No thank you, I'll be ok." She, like myself, has been ill recently. I told her I had an extra one and would really like her to have one, and she took it gladly. When I turned to walk away, I found a penny on the ground by my car door. I'm sure you've all heard the story of "Pennies from Heaven." So I picked it up, looked up, and said "Thanks, Daddy, I love you too" and went home.

I know some of you aren't Christian, and I'm not here to proselytize to you. I just ask that you accept MY belief in Christ, just as I accept your beliefs or non-beliefs. To me, my Savior was with me today, and he redirected me to where my attention needs to be. On the true meaning of the season.

I wish you all peace, love, and a joyous and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, or if you celebrate none of these, then just peace and happiness of the season.

I love you all. You are indeed, my home and my family.

Melissa/FieryMomOf2

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