A BALL OF EMOTIONS...................ReleaseMe

So I made it into Graduate School. I had my first class on Tuesday. I live pretty far from the university and didn't figure in the amount of traffic that would be on the highway during that time. So I was running late. It took me a hour to get there. Of course parking, like most university parking, is horrible. I drove around the parking lots for a while before finding the closest spot possible to my building. I had looked up my class online to make sure I knew the location but I forgot to write it down. I was certain that I remembered the room number.

I entered the building, and nothing looked familiar. It had been at least three years since I had been there, maybe longer. And so my search begins for the class. I go up and down three flights of stairs several times, just as confused as when I first started. I finally decided to ask some people and ended up interupting two other classes in the process. None of which were much help. Then I was directed to an office and they looked online to make sure I had the right room number and confirmed that I did have the right number but wrong hall. There are two halls divided in the same building. The room number for my class was a bathroom in one hall (lol). Well I had to go at that point anyway, so it worked out. Needless to say, I was late for my first class but did eventually get there.

I have two classes this semester. And both classes only have nine students each, including myself. I find that a little strange. I don't find comfort in the fact that there are only nine students. At least in a big class, I can be my shy and awkward self and no one would notice. But in a class of only nine, everyone is very connected. I feel like the odd man (or woman) out.

I'm not the oldest in the class as I assumed I would be. There are two other ladies that are older than me. One is a high school teacher. All of the students seem very professional. I've never felt that I was very professional. It's just not something that suits my carefree nature.

For the most part, everyone was dressed in business causual with the exception of a few girls who wore shorts and sandals. I knew that being out in a social setting was going to be uncomfortable enough, so I decided to wear what I would be most comfortable wearing. I wore a new shirt, and my favorite pair of jeans, which are full of holes and look as if they are 20 years old even though I just bought them. (lol) Little did I know that the university's air conditioning was touch and go. After running from the parking lot and then up and down three flights of stairs, I was drenched in sweat.

The teacher went over the syllabus with the class. The class work isn't all that demanding. We have three major projects and a weekly quiz, plus class discussions and activities. I'm not too worried about maintaining my grades. I just wish this horrible anxiety would go away so that I can feel normal again.

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