Hi USM.
I have read alot of posts here and i think i just want to make one post to all of you who care to read it. I hope this advise helps.
1. Unless you are ok by you (meaning the top of your spiritual game) can you be at the top of your relation ship. have you ever heard "it takes two halves to make a whole".. how can you make a whole if you arent a whole on your own?
2. You cant change your spouce. Have you ever said "well if you would only do this" or "if you would stop doing that" "it bugs me when you dont put your clothes in the hamper" ext. You cant change them. The only person you can change in a relationship is you. Is the problem really the other one..or is it you? I use to get onto matt all the time for putting is xbox controller on my bed.. i always would sit on it ..ouch. no matter how many times i asked, nothing. The problem wasnt that i had a problem with him playing his xbox and leaving his controller on my bed..it was ..well, for one i didnt make up my bed, two i didnt look where i was sitting and three there isnt a spot in my room for the controllers to go, so they end up on the bed. .this brings me to my next point
3. put your partner before yourself and all others. you can agree with me or not on this one..but it should be (chain of importantce) your partner, your children, your family then you. im not saying your not important but if you hold your partner higher and use the golden rule life will be so sweet. and yes its hard sometimes but this works. back to the xbox controller thing..i went and bought matt a xbox controller charger stand thing at Hastings so now they have a spot. I put his needs before my own, went out of my way and did something for him. this istn a one way street..once he noticed everthing i was doing for him..he is now doing the same thing. dont think about you...think about them
i hope this helps some of you. Im not opening a debate here....if you disagree thats fine. im just letting you know what works.
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