Please..pray for my mom ~FieryMomOf2~

My mom, Darlene, has always been there for me, along with my Dad (who passed away 2 years ago the 6th of this month). Through good times and especially bad, my mother has been my best friend. I was and still am a Daddy's girl, but it has always been my mom I turned to in times of crisis because I was too ashamed to go to my Daddy (and I knew she'd end up telling him anyway).

Since my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2006, things began to get really tough for my parents. My dad had to turn over the garage he'd worked his whole life to achieve, to my brother, although he would often be found sitting out in the shop while my brother did the work. He did this until his dying day. My Dad qualified for SS Disability, and my mom worked (and still does), yet the medical bills overwhelmed them. They refused to give my Dad Medicare or Medicaid, even though he was on Disability, because legally the business was still his, and my mom worked. Ironically enough, my mom received my Dad's medicare card a few months after he passed. Too little, too late.

So my mother has been on her own for 2 years, and she fully admits the years of "plastic happiness" were her fault. She never imagined my dad dying at such an early age, and thought she'd have plenty of time to pay off debts.

But my mother is a survivor. She still works (she is 61), and she draws a pittance from Social Security almost every month off my Dad. Thankfully, their house was paid for in cash years ago, so she doesn't have a mortgage over her head.

However, yesterday she called me after she said she'd been crying a good hour at least (my mother is also a heart patient, she had 2 heart attacks and open heart surgery just 6 months before my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2006). Her heater has gone out. If it's the compressor, it's going to be at least $3-$5,000 to fix it, because you have to replace the whole unit, it's about the same cost. We're hoping it's something as simple as a heating element, neither one of us knows much about central heat/air units, Daddy always took care of it. She called the man that fixed her a/c back in the summer, and is waiting on him to tell her an estimated expense.

I'm consumed by a ton of guilt right now. All those years she spent bailing me out of various messes, and I don't have even a dollar to spare to give to her. Yet she insisted on taking me out for my 40th birthday today (my birthday is actually tomorrow, the 20th), even when I suggested waiting until after this was fixed, she said "No, I promised you a birthday dinner, and that's one thing I will not change. The amount your dinner is going to cost wouldn't count much towards a new unit anyway." This is how my mother thinks. She still puts her children and grandchildren first, even at her own expense.

I offered to let her stay with us, she could sleep with me or on the couch, so she would at least be warm, but in her usual style, she declined and said she would sleep in front of the fireplace in her recliner to make it through the winter if she had to. We live in Texas, so we don't see single digit temperatures in the winter, but still...last year we had one of the worst winters ever, lost power for 3 days, and had to retreat to a hotel. She refused to come with us, and stayed with my brother who has a small gas wall furnace and lives in an already overcrowded singlewide trailer.

I did suggest that she take out a mortgage on the house, large enough to pay all her bills off, then she'd just have one monthly payment to make for a few years. She won't do that, and just says the bank wouldn't give her the money.

I know the power of prayer works, and I'm asking that you please pray, send good vibes, whatever your higher power belief system ascribes to, that it's a low-cost fix or something simple. We've been blessed with mild temperatures and only a few really cold nights lately, but I know that as we move closer into January and February, our weather is going to get really rough. I am worried for my mother and wishing I could find a way to help even a little bit. I've always been taught that as our parents get older, we are to take care of them as they took care of us when we were growing up, and I feel guilty, as does my brother, that we can't help her.

We live in a small town, and my dad was well-known, so I imagine I could make a few phone calls and probably get something going for her, but she would be so embarrassed and humiliated for anyone to know she's struggling like this, she would probably never forgive me. My parents led a very private personal life and never discussed their financial status with anyone, not even us kids. The only thing we knew as kids was that we never wanted for anything, and Dad would just quietly take care of whatever situation we were in, and always refused repayment.

I do have an idea...I thought about calling my personal banker tomorrow, she knows my parents well, and seeing if we can get anonymous donations quietly, nothing in the paper, just word of mouth, to help her out. She'd probably figure it out that it was either me or my brother if we did get something going, but of course...plausible deniablity.

Thanks for letting me share here...She doesn't surf the web other than to pay her bills, so there's not a chance of her seeing this post. I'm just so worried for her, we've already had quite a few close calls with her heart since Daddy passed, and I'm afraid this just might be enough to push her over the edge.

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