These are a some truths I came across on the Internet.
WARNING: These truths contain heavy sarcasm and rudeness. If you are easily offended, these truths aren't for you. :p
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
4. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. Evening news is where they begin with "good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
6. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
7. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
8. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
10. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas!
11. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You just need a parachute to skydive twice.
12. Laugh at your problems; everyone else does.
13. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
14. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery a lot easier to live with.
15. My opinions have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
16. When in doubt, mumble.
17. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
19. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
20. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
21. To make sure you hit the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
22. I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here.
23. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
24. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
25. Always borrow money from pessimists. They won't expect it back.
And describing me...
"I'm not a pessimist. I'm just in a bad mood - permanently."
Love, Krista/AppleSoda Girl, Resident Sarcasm Queen You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  63846 ( Click here )
Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
|
