Date: 12/17/2009 9:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 62833
Does he have full physical and legal custody of the girls or his Mother? If he does, he doesn't technically have to do anything. If she does, then the state would come after him for child support. 500 a month is sufficient as far as state guidelines for child support are concerned. The median rate across the board is $70-$80 per child, per week. That is generally with arrearages. So, without arrearage you could expect a court ordered amount to be lower. They cant make him get on foodstamps, besides if they are asking for $800 a month, I am going to assume he has a comfortable income, and that is something they feel he could afford. I am more than certain no state agency would give foodstamps to him, so she can chuck that out the door. If she wants them, and she is income eligible, she can do that with or without his permission.
But, it goes back to who has full custody of the girls, physical custody in cases like this is what matters.  |
Date: 12/17/2009 9:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 2508
well here is the thing..i guess when he was in his messy divorce he gave his parents a temp. custody untill he could get on his feet..sad to say when they got split she took everything and left him with bills ...and nothing but debt.. he was in the airforce so he does get money every month and is now back in school. he is doing well at starting over..it just seems like he is taking forever... he is working on his debt..(its so bad he cant even get a cell phone in his name) he cant really afford much over 500 a month ...  |
Date: 12/18/2009 4:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 64414
every state has diffrent guidelines for determining child support amounts. Contact your local family court (it may be online) and ask what the guidlines are. Then calculate what the state would make him pay. You just may find that he would owe less than 125.00 per week (or 500.00 per month). If that is the case, show this to his mom. Also, since the kids live with her, not Matt, she would have to apply for food stamps. Her household income would determine what she is entitled to...not Matt's income.  |
Date: 12/18/2009 6:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
if he wants someone else to have the day to day responsability of his children he should pay for it. if he doesn't want to give up custody he needs to pack up his kids and take them home with him. i don't mean to sound like a witch but i have had experience with this very thing. my MIL got a 4 month old baby dumped on her 12 years ago and she still has the kid. it's her great grand daughter. her grand daughter (the baby's mom) never wanted to sign anything legal because of the income tax refund she got every year. i think it's called the earned income credit. anyway, my MIL had to get help from social services and a tax lawyer to get the paperwork done so she could use the kid she was raising on her taxes. and the same thing just happened last month when my aunt got perment custody of her grand daughters. all my cousin had to say about it was he didn't know what he was going to do without the kids on his taxes because he really needs the money.
so my attitude about this whole situation (no matter who it is) is the parents should either be living with and raising their own kids or whoever has the kids and all the day to day stuff that goes along with raising kids should have all legal rights.  |
Date: 12/18/2009 10:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
Your boyfriend needs to man up and raise his kids himself. He shouldn't be pawning them off on his mother.  |
Date: 12/18/2009 12:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
I agree with MomaBug & WildBob... pay his mother for taking care of his children, or bring them home and juggle it all himself.  |
Date: 12/18/2009 1:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 14754
i agree with Mercury, which agrees with wildbob and Momma bug.  |
Date: 12/18/2009 3:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
Why can't he take his kids and raise them himself now. His mother did her job in raising him, so if he is in the position to raise his own kids he should be doing so...hope it all works out for the kids, because they are the most important issue in this..  |
Date: 12/18/2009 6:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 64365
Um...if he has full rights to them he should repossess them and take care of them himself.  |
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Date: 12/18/2009 6:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 2508
its not that he cant "man up" he doesnt have a car because his credit is so bad he cant get one..(thanks to his ex wife who used his info for everything while he was in iraq...racking up tons of debt...the he was gone most of their lives in iraq and when the ex spent all the money in New Jursey she decided to sell the girls to matts parents for $300..she gave up all rights... matt had no idea this happend untill late 06'. thats when he asked for a devorce...but while he was gone his parents already had a temp custody order because the ex sold them..he has been fighting all this time to work and get on his feet to get them back..we have been trying to sue the ex for some of the debt she has put matt in but so far no luck under a jursey law devorce and marrage..(not sure how in the world that worked) the hole thing is messed up..and when matt tryied to take the girls last night his mom screamed and yelled leaving the girls crying to go with daddy..all we wanted to do was take them to see the princess and the frog and get ice cream..but his mom woudnt let us out the door! she kept saying she has custody and wouldnt let us out the door...it was hard because the girls where so excited and i already had their car seats in my car ready to go...its not like we can just go over and take them...so i need some other advice other than man up...thats not the case |
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Date: 12/18/2009 6:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 64365
here's some advice. Get a lawyer. . If you can't afford a lawyer, get legal aid. I'm pretty sure there's something for you in your state regarding legal aid. |
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Date: 12/18/2009 6:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
then it sounds like he needs to put some money into hiring a good family law attorney and get custody back... what exactly did you mean that "he has full rights to them" if he can't just go and take them home? |
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Date: 12/18/2009 7:05:00 PM ( S-Admin )
oh sorry i was meaning Her full rights (the ex) |
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Date: 12/18/2009 7:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
if the grandparents have custody of the kids then they should take him to court and let a judge order whatever child support he thinks is fair. |
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Date: 12/18/2009 7:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
Maybe he should also talk with a bankruptcy attorney, consultations are usually free... it could offer the fresh start he needs, especially if the debt is as bad as you're suggesting here. It could also help him reach his goal of taking care of his girls on his own that much sooner. |
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Date: 12/18/2009 8:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 2508
i think you might be right about the bankruptcy thing..he has already filed all he has to do is pay the lawyer guy to submit it or whatever they call it to get it underway..he just didnt know if it would be the right move or not. ..i think it would also rid him of any ties he has left with the ex as far as other debt goes... i guess that and speaking to a family lawyer is our first step..thanks everyone! ! all i know is he loves them and wants to own his own house with them...i want to see his dream come true! thanks all! |
