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Date: 3/9/2009 5:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 63026
I wish you the best of lucks with your son and the scouts. I hated the scouts cause I was not up for the adventure, and some of the other scouts were mean and seemed to be jerks, and think they were higher than the others. Maybe he can join another school club or another hobby group that would be more fun for him.  |
Date: 3/9/2009 6:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 48809
You have really had a bad day haven't you Melissa? Unfortunately, we all have these days now and then and they seem to go on forever. I hope you get along alright on thursday and your little boy gets to be in the Scouts again! I am sorry that you also lost your dog this morning too. Remember that your pet still lives and you will see her again. Hugs!  |
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Date: 3/9/2009 8:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 51876
People really get so uppity with their attitudesI am so tired right now and have to get up early to finish.I'll reply in the morning.Well, if they try and bar him from scouts..we'll start our own scout troop. I was a Boy Scout and initiated into the Order of the Arrow also. just like high school, I almost was a eagle scout and almost graduated. I love the outdoors and know how to be safe and enjoy it. Hope tomorrow is a better day for us all, my landlord really ticked me off today also,Good night, hope you can sleep, it's been a rough day.  |
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Date: 3/9/2009 8:31:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 63201
Thanks everyone. To A/O, yes he has been in counseling for a LONG time now. Ryan tends to hang on to the past with an iron fist, and it's hard to get him to let go. I do get mom time sometimes, but not often. My whole life for the last 3 years has been just about being Mom. Saturday was the first day I've had with my mother to myself for a very long time. We enjoyed dinner and a movie, yet I still couldn't relax and get my mind off my kids. Why they didn't call me on my cell phone to tell me about Ryan, I have no idea. They just left a message on my machine at home and I didn't get it till late that night. Bruce, nice idea but can't start another troop in Gilmer, no sponsors. All they're requesting is that myself or an adult responsible for him go to campouts with him, someone that can control him and his behavior. I'd love to go to summer camp but I can't be gone for an entire week, I have no place to leave Jacob. And it's rather expensive to boot. Maybe by winter camp I'll be able to go, or next year's summer camp. I guess we'll see how this all pans out Thursday. I don't intend to be belligerent, but I do intend to fight for my son's rights to be in Scouts, and see if there's a way they will work with him. It's late, I've had a long day and I'm going to bed. I'm so exhausted to the point I'm not sure if I can fall asleep or not...wish me luck...  |
Date: 3/9/2009 9:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 12876
never doubt your ability of mother, Autism often isn;t handled by others if they don't have to, for a large portion of the world does not understand GOD made them special just as He made LD kids, one minute you can tell them the sky is blue, they agree, then someone tells them it is pink and they argue it with you. Good luck, and sweetie, if they still don't want him there, it is their loss not his, for they need to learn to live with reality,  |
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Date: 3/10/2009 12:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 13297
It sounds like a lack of education to me on the part of the Scout leader. I know you want to fight for your son but try also see it from the Scout master's position. He has a troup of boys which is hard enough to control in itself. Now he has a child with special needs and that means in order to keep the group in line and focused on what they're doing (camping, earning a badge, etc) - he has to know how to help your son when he acts out. That takes training and time. Some people would do it because that is their character and they want to help and others would see it as a burden they are not prepared to take on. Being a scout leader is usually a volunteer position and is usually something the leader is making time for in an already hectic schedule, with little guidance or little thanks. My cousin is a girlscout leader so I see it with her situation. As for your son, I see their point of view and yours. If your son REALLY LIKES SCOUTS and WANTS to keep doing it of his own accord - then I think you should fight this. If not, then I think you should find something he wants to do. I know you want him to integrate and make friends and be part of a group but if he's not into it only makes everyone miserable. Additionally, if the scout leader is unwilling to learn more about Autism and unwilling to get enough education to help your son calm down during one of his "fits" then you NEED to be there. Thisis for the good of the troup and your son. I also know you'd like to be able to have your son go to an outing with scouts and have a little free time to yourself. Every parent wants that, autism or not. I also understand wanting your child to fit in and function in society. There is nothing wrong with either of those things. However, it might require that you gather the materials and provide the training to the scout leaders so they understand the basics of autism and how to help. Additionally, maybe you could come speak to the troup at one of their meetings. It might be good for everyone (your son included) to hear what the condition is and isn't and to know when he needs help and when he is just acting out. This might help the leaders and the boys. Maybe you and the scout leader can also agree in this meeting of what his punishment is at scouts if he acts out. Make sure your son is well aware of it too. IE - Ryan if you act out at Scouts and don't listen to the Scout Master - he has been told to make you set apart from the group against the wall. If you control yourself you can return to the group after 5 minutes. If you continue, he will call me on my cellphone and I will come get you. If I have to come get you - you will miss Scouts next week and lose the ability to play video games for the rest of the week, etc. He has to understand the consequences as you say and defining clear, easy goals that he will understand should help him do that. Best of luck - I know these things are never as easy as they seem on the outside. Sorry also to hear about your Dog. Hope the rest of your week gets better.  |
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Date: 3/10/2009 4:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 51876
Eimajic has a very good take and advice on the situation.I'd like to know what you think of that. |
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Date: 3/10/2009 7:04:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 63201
Thank you Jamie, you have definitely given me a lot to think about. I emailed all of the committee today with a few pre-meeting thoughts, we'll see if anyone responds, and how the meeting goes Thursday. And thanks A/O, I might just need someone to rant to! *smiles* |
Date: 3/10/2009 3:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} Melissa...  |
Date: 3/12/2009 10:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 15677
my son was in scouts and they were so uppidy i couldnt stand it after tryin for months i finally told the scout leader we were leaving the group because of prejudice. this confused him but i futher explained about the difference between me who worked hard everyday for every penny i got and the other moms who had rich husbands with free rein of the bank account an could just jet off to the zoo in a moments notice.the moment we got in the car my son thanked me... that was all i needed. on to ur other problem, i have a friend who has a son that is mrdd and it can be straight on all his meds an the tinest thing will set him off, completly theres no build up he just comes out swinging. this "child" turns 18 today but is no older in his mind then a 9 yr old. he has even hospitalized a few times. hang in there hun it does get better.  |
Date: 3/14/2009 11:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 36901
Sounds to me like you're a great mother. I don't think the problem lies with you. I wonder how much the scout master knows about your son's condition. You'd think he'd do some research and learn as much as he could. I realize that he has to do what is in the best interest of all the boys, but I think he should have some compassion and understanding. He probably has no idea how good the scouts could be for Ryan if he'd give him a chance and try to help instead of being a jerk. I hope everything worked out. I'll check and see if you updated.  |
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