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Date: 2/4/2009 1:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 61897
Both.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 2:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 64197
Everyone has a soulmate, I believe that. I believe that it takes time to find that soulmate and the relationships you have up to that point are to teach you what you need to know in order to make that connection with your soulmate. once you make that connection you have to work at the relationship in order for it to work. People change, relationships change, and if you do not work at the relationship with communication, then things will change for the worse and they may never be able to be fixed and I think that that is when people decide they don't love the person anymore and they split up. I'm sure that your parents and grandparents had their difficult times throughout their marriages and I'm sure that at one time during those difficult times that it may have crossed one of their minds (even if for just a split second) that it just wasn't worth it and maybe the best thing to do is leave, BUT they learned through communication and commitment that they loved one another and that anything could be worked out and worked through with love and communication. So, don't look to your friends relationships as to what is to come for you, look at the relationships of your parents and grandparents and the advice they have given you on relationships and don't give up, your soulmate is out there and when it is time for the two of you to meet.....it will happen. Disney movies are just that, movies, fantasy, that is not how real relationships are and you will need to understand that and not expect that to happen when you meet your soulmate or any relationship you enter into, it just doesn't happen that way in real life, although I'm sure all of us women wish it would, it just doesn't.  |
Date: 2/4/2009 2:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 51876
Mine must have died then.Purple Roses, before I even met her.I have one marriage line as told to me by the palm reading manual.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 2:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 61897
If everyone has a soulmate, why am I alone??? I'm going to die a spinster!! |
Date: 2/4/2009 2:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 62798
YOu ar eso so so right! I say that to people all the time. We have these weird notions and ideas about the "perfect" person or relationship. We are too lazy and selfish to actually work on relationships...or there is someone "hotter" or whatever it is we are looking for... But the truth is..you take yourself into each new relationship.. if you don't change...the quality of relationships you have will not either.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 2:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 51876
I was so confused just a minute ago, I was addressing Purple Rose, Purple Roses just came in and posted her reply, ok, my eyes kept blinking to the rythmn and couldn't figure it out.lol |
Date: 2/4/2009 2:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 18928
I believe there are numerous reasons relationships end, & certainly ppl do fall out of love as they grow and change.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 2:32:00 PM ( Admin )
I think that many marrages die from indifference. People don't try to be the person the other person can love. They just take what they think they deserve and after a while both people feel unloved. People need to feel love, give love and know love. They will find it. Many times in the arms of someone else that seems to care at the moment. Sometimes, people just want new love, to feel like someone special again. Over and over they go because they don't know how to give or receive the kind of love they want. In order to have long lasting true love. You have to be the person the other person can love and appreciate. They have to be that for you. You have to be open to knowing that everything the other person is giving is a gift. Washing cloths, making food, cleaning up, mowing the yard, going to work. Everything both people do is a gift to each other. Appreciate it, everything, all the time. Don't take it for granted, don't make the other persons efforts seem like nothing. If you want forever love then be forever loving. -Rad.. |
Date: 2/4/2009 2:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 7830
to be "in love" in the sense of our society;s standards is simply infatuation and should not be considered a necessity in marriage. Love is a choice, real love that is, because real love is an action, not a feeling. You can choose to love anybody.  |
Date: 2/4/2009 2:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 37150
Wow, this is a heavy question that has many more questions and various answers. Each individual is different, therefore each relationship is different. What may work for one couple may only cause more problems for another. Movies, books, etc about relationships only delude reality. Obviously, after reading "Twilight" and watching various Disney Movies, men are not like that- and perhaps it's better that way since most of us girls are no princesses. Or worse, they are and then she is high maintanence. Point is, everyone in a relationship should be treated equally and with respect. And relationships take WORK and EFFORT from BOTH people! And I want to say only those TWO people b/c when others get involved it gets more complicated and can ruin things. SO, compromise can be good in relationships and as for maturity, are we talking age b/c that doesn't "necessarily" mean one's age determines maturity, however I do believe that some people get into SERIOUS relationships too young. Well, interesting post and you're asking what some people in their mid life can't figure out. *HUGS*  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 2:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 61933
Ya know, I really don't think you can fall out of love... I mean, real true soulmate unconditional love - it is a staying thing. The problem is, that sometimes that lack of effort causes a distance to be put on two people mentally, but if you truely love somebody, with that unconditional non backing down type of love - that never goes away. I DO however believe you can love two people at one time. I care about my ex husband very dearly, and I still love him. What keeps me from going over the edge is my wonderful boyfriend who I love, and the mere fact that my ex is happy. I'm not jealous or anything, I am genuinely happy that HE is happy. Although we aren't together anymore, I love him as much as I did when we were - and I would do anything for him. BUT, I do love my boyfriend as well, and would never do anything to hurt him. My ex and I just had to much baggage from the past to make it work toward the future... I really don't know how to explain what I mean anymore... lol {{hugs}}  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 3:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 57640
I think it is different for each couple, and it affects each couple differently. I don't think making a general conclusion or assumption about every relationship is right. i think it should be looked at on a case by case basis. I guess it depends exactly what the problem is. In your friend's case, I think they could work it out...but could is different than her wanting to. It might just be a problem within herself that she doesn't want to admit and although he may be a little extra clingy it is probably just something she has to deal with and avoids it by breaking it off with him. Relationships are hard but they can work out and have and people truly can be happy. It all depends if they are willing to work together and let themselves.  |
Date: 2/4/2009 4:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 21903
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they don't work out (in a lot of cases) because of a lack of effort. All relationships have hard times (marriage or not) and it is communication, compassion and compromise that I think are key. I don't, however, think that ALL marriages can make it. I think sometimes maybe people rush in or too young and one day realize that maybe they don't love each other and do, essentially, "fall out of love." I think if this is the case, one shouldn't just try to work it out for the sake of not divorcing because neither party will every truly be happy. My parents never divorced and have DEF had some rough times, but they made it...and yet, my boyfriends parents' marriage ended for a reason similar to the tough times my parents had...not to say they SHOULDN"T have gotten married, but I wonder if there was a lack of effort or caring to put the effort in or if my mom was crazy enough to take the chance it'd work out! *sigh* I guess I'm talking in circles...I obviously don't know the answer to this question! haha, sorry for the ramble...  |
Date: 2/4/2009 7:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 14909
Most relationship failures are from PURE LAZINESS. There are lots of reasons relationship don't last but that's the leader.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 8:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
Could be either.. depends on the relationship. Although, I do believe people quit their marriages too hastily these days.. in the old days, divorce was frowned upon and so people were forced to work through their problems.. now, it's completely acceptable to divorce someone.. regardless of how long you were married, whether it be 2 weeks, a month, or fifty years.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 9:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
I believed as you do that marriage was suppose to last for ever. BUT after over 5 years of being cheated on and beaten up, I was NOT going to work on it anymore. My second married lasted 14 years and he and I are not great friends as he is the father of all my children. But I had known him since I was 10 years old and I think we grew apart because we were so different in things we wanted and life in general. I've been with this husband since 1989. From the moment I met him I felt he was my soul mate. That is another reason I left the other two, I KNEW deep in side of me, that I had a soul mate out there somewhere. Our marriage has not been perfect, we have had some very deep deep problems and those that know me best know what it was and things that happened. BUT we worked all of it out and he helped to raise my children. Sure there are times I could just cut his little throat, but I'm sure he feels the same way about me at times. But we laugh alot, we hardly ever fight. So people wait until you know that you know that you know that you have found your soul mate before you get tied down.  |
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Date: 2/4/2009 9:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
THAT WAS TO SAY NOW GREAT FRIENDS, lol, NOT *NOT* great friends, lol plus he and my husband get along great. |
Date: 2/4/2009 11:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 38601
I believe it's both...I believe when you find your soul mate, no lack of effort will stop you two from being together and you will never be able to fall out of love, but all relationships prior to that are subject to either.  |
Date: 2/5/2009 1:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 64279
I was raised on Disney movies too. I really think people can fall out of love though, as much as I want everyone to stay together forever, and be perfectly in love with each other the entire time. I still want my Beast to come galloping into the woods on his horse to rescue me from the wolves.....I thought I had him, but it was just Gaston; so needless to say, he was waved away and here I am....still waiting.  |
Date: 2/5/2009 7:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 21764
yeah.. first of all, as a little girl i was brought up with disney and romantic comedies as well.. true love and real relationships are nothing like that i've found.. you have to work for what you want outta it every day..  |
Date: 2/5/2009 3:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 49080
I believe that relationships fail for both. Depending on the situation. Lack of love, lack of effort or both at the same time. Don't fear marriage. Embrace it if that ever comes your way. Marriage is a good thing for the ones who actually really do love each other. Divorce does happen. I have been through it and many people I know have been through divorce. Point is, life is a journey. Pray on everything you do. If you ever think that you have made a wrong decision, remember that you prayed about it first and whatever happens, God has a better plan and the roads taken prior was just a step to get you in the right direction.  |
Date: 2/5/2009 4:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 3125
Radman gave GREAT advice!!  I have been married 45 years and we have had some good times and some bad times, but through it all we have been there, unselfishly, for each other.  |
Date: 2/5/2009 9:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
I think some relationships can be worked on and some are bound to never work out, and you need to be honest with yourself about which boat you're in. I'm personally grateful to live in a society where I have the freedom to leave a dysfunctional relationship, or to forego marriage completely. In the olden days, women married young and were stuck with sucky partners for their entire lives. Imagine having your fate sealed based on a decision you made at 18.  |
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Date: 2/6/2009 2:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 12806
I don't think that you can ever stop loving someone if you really loved them in the first place. I think what happens when relationships move towards separation is that you "fall out of like". You can not really like a person anymore, yet you can still love them. Many people as they mature, or because of personal experiences, or whatever, drift apart and no longer seem to share the same interests....... the "frustration" from this is usually what causes dislike...... Yet, you can still love that person as much as you ever did...........  |
Date: 2/17/2009 9:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
wow! Rad nailed it.  |
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52140 Category:(Debate) Created:(2/4/2009 1:17:00 PM)