real epitaph's

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.

In a London cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767



In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.



In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising.



Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.



In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.



A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.



A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.



Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.



Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More.



In a Georgia cemetery "I told you I was sick!"



John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny.



On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune.



Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:

Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go.



Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:

Gone away Owin' more Than he could pay.



Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs.

Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other.



On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God.



The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania:

Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.



In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.



Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas Office upstairs

In Newbury, England [1742]

Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies, Nobody laughs and nobody cries; Where his soul's gone, or how it fares, Nobody knows, and nobody cares.



In a Leeds graveyard [1861]

Here lies my wife, Here lies she; Hallelujah! Hallelujee!



John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife:

Here lies my wife: here let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I.



The Tired Woman's Epitaph:

Here lies a poor woman who was always tired; She lived ina house where help was not hired. Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing: But everything there is exact to my wishes; For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes... Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never - I'm going to do nothing for evere and ever.



To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu:

Born 15 September 1822 Accidentally shot 4th April 1844As a mark of affection from his brother



Hillaire Belloc (1870-1953):

Here richly, with ridiculous display, The Politician's corpse was laid away. While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged, I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.



On an inkeeper 1875:

Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion, Doth lie the landlord of the Lion; His son keeps on the business still, Resigned unto the heavenly will.

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