Date: 7/29/2008 9:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
WOW excuse me but how dare he speak to you like that....I wouldn't do it ever again, and if your friend, his girlfriend cannot understand that, well they can both be off your best friend list...the cheek of him...  |
Date: 7/29/2008 9:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 10657
I think you made a very valid point I could see if, maybe it was once in a blue moon but, it just seems as if they are pawning them off onto you. I can say that as a mother I have never let anyone watch my children more than once a month at best lol.  |
Date: 7/29/2008 9:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 64123
The only way you can explain it is with a straight forward NO. You've explained enough already. Good luck.  |
Date: 7/29/2008 9:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
I very much agree with you Zema but she might look at it like I'M being mean because their defence will be he was just playing but either way, that was surely rude! And he never once said he was kidding and I even told him that way very rude and walked away making it obvious that I was NOT happy with him and I've heard nothing from them.  |
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Date: 7/29/2008 9:18:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
Oh my goodness I have told him no many of times but he'll either act like a child and complain and have his gf lay a guilt trip on me until I feel so bad about it. But pretty much he will sit at my house and talk and talk and complain until I finally agree. And he'll have everyone telling me how lazy I am and how AWFUL it is that I don't want to go watch kids that I don't get paid for, I cannot even have a job because people will not let me have my own time |
Date: 7/29/2008 9:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 64365
Back your words up with action. You DO have a choice. It's your life to live as you see fit, not as they choose for you to live. Get up early, and go somewhere...show them you mean business. It doesn't mean you don't care about them, it just means you care about you.  |
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Date: 7/29/2008 9:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 10657
Put your foot down and let them know that unfortunately your circumstances have changed and you need to think of the safety of the children but, you don't mind watching them every so often you just can not do it on a consistent basis. |
Date: 7/29/2008 9:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
he has no right to speak to you that way YOU are doing THEM a favor!, it may be time to speak to them about it say that you have plans and you will not be treated as a person to just pass off thier children to and next time they come over to drop the kids off just get in your car, tell them that you said you cant and leave.. maybe they will get the message that they can't just abandon thier kids on you  |
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Date: 7/29/2008 9:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
it might also be time to slip a bill for baby sitting services in the mailbox |
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Date: 7/29/2008 9:50:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
Thank you everyone for your replies, I've actually never thought of it that way, it IS me doing THEM a favor and if they get mad because I won't babysit anymore they were not true friends, right? |
Date: 7/29/2008 10:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 21903
If he was playing around, it was rude...if not, he's just plain cray. Just start telling your neighbor no. If he persists, quit answering phonecalls and the door if necessary to get your point across b/c that is SO very rude. OOOOR, tell him that the only way you'll watch them is to receive payment up front...and tell him 'he doesn't have a choice'. lol. It does sound like a tough situation though, so good luck with it!! *HUGS*  |
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Date: 7/29/2008 11:09:00 PM ( Admin )
If your best friend can't understand you saying no then rethink that relationship. If friendship costs more then friendship alone then the price is too high. It is ok to give all you want to your friend but when the friendship depends upon it, it's not friendship any more. |
Date: 7/30/2008 12:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 64566
Let me give you a quote. ''''If you want a real friend , get yourself a dog.'''' Really honestly it is not easy. I have learned to try to limit what I do for people. A friend of mine kept on and on wanting to use my truck one time. Finally i told him 2 or 3 times my uncle said any household with 2 vehicles one of them needs to be a truck.  |
Date: 7/30/2008 4:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 33401
The above comments are right on. Don't let them push you around. Love,  |
Date: 7/30/2008 5:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 56359
What the heck... You said in your post that you brushed off one of his comments. Maybe that's part of the problem, you brush off too many comments. Don't forget that words mean things, and you do not deserved to be pushed around like this. Is there anymore to this story because it's hard to believe that he would treat you son harshly for doing him a favor. Don't take that wrong, I believe every word you wrote, it's just difficult to hear that someone is being treated this way for no reason. These people are ridiculous.  |
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Date: 7/30/2008 5:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
SW: Sadly this is his personality, hes just gotten out of jail and he feels everyone owes him and since me and his gf are best friends and hes known me for 13 years that I'm suppose to sit here and stop my life anytime he needs me. But I do indeed understnd where you're coming from SW,hun. This is the first time hes actually tried to force me to do something |
Date: 7/30/2008 7:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 62849
Well, you have several options, as others have said. Lock your doors and turn off your phone and do not respond to him. Leave the house and get done what you need to get done early in the morning so he can't bring his kids over to you. Personally, I liked the payment UP FRONT idea and telling him *he* doesn't have a choice if he wants his kids under your care.  |
Date: 7/30/2008 7:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 48809
Why are you allowing people to do this to you? If you don't want to baby sit for anyone, then just say NO and mean it. If you want to baby sit to make money... then make them pay you before they leave...if they make excuses ... then just say good bye and take off! As long as you allow people to take advantage of you... then you can bet they are going to do it! Good luck!  |
Date: 7/30/2008 8:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 25390
Everyone pretty much hit the nail on the head. You Do have a choice. Don't take his whining, he is manipulating you...which makes me wonder how much he is manipulating your best friend as well. Like you said, you DON'T have the time, and you DON'T owe him for anything. If he can't take no for an answer, don't answer the door.  |
Date: 7/30/2008 8:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 12072
you're being taken advantage of, plain and simple. Next time, just say no. and close the door. Or don't answer the door, or around that time, get out of the house. A few days of no babysitter, they'll go elsewhere. If they raise caine with you, just tell them you have your own life and things to do and choices to make, and leave it at that. Walk away if they persist.  |
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Date: 7/30/2008 8:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 12072
just now read the comments, if he sits around whining you owe it to them, tell him to get his bum off your couch and out the door, you're leaving for -insert destination here, like the mall- and kick him out. As long as you put up with their behavoiur (guilt trips and all) you'll be walked all over. Find some friends who like you for who you are, not what you do for them. |
Date: 7/30/2008 11:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 64637
I would definitely move! If he talks to you like that, Imagine how he is treating your friend! And just getting out of jail? Geez, he's a real winner!LOL, Seriously, you need to think of yourself, and how you need to get by. Sounds like an abusive guy to me. Sorry you have to go through this. Just be firm and put your foot down, maybe throw him in jail again and you and your friend can both move!~~MidnightSun
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Date: 7/30/2008 6:39:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
He actually is pretty good to her and they're great parents and all I just think they need to find someone else, I'm surely not putting up with that |
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Date: 7/30/2008 6:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 64365
I remember when my kids were itty bitty. Relatives would come by and just dump their kids on me. Pretty soon, it got to where they were dumping them off a little early, and not picking them up until they were darned good and ready, and I got so sick and tired of it, I finally told them NO in a big way. They were a little upset, because they were bringing their kids even when they were sick, and that meant they were going to have to take off then. But, I had to take care of myself, and just because I had babies and was at home, didn't mean I wasn't working and bringing in money. I didn't need the pittance they were throwing my way...and that's why they were using me...to save money on day care. People will push and shove you as far as you will let them. When I put my foot down and refused to be pushed and shoved, they were upset, but they got over it. |
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Date: 7/31/2008 6:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 64621
OMG! How rude of this parasite! When he says you have no choice simply say "yes I do and I can't babysit, I have plans" which really you owe him no explanation! Either your gf makes him ask and afraid to ask you herself or he is just a bully! Just say "I can't!" Sweetie good luck! Karrie |
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Date: 7/31/2008 7:27:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 57074
Thank you all for advice and such!! Finally got to talk to his girlfriend and let her know what was going on so things are pretty good now |
