|
Date: 4/3/2008 4:49:00 PM ( Chatmin-CC )
be creative in your authority, take your time and think things through before you speak .. don't be too pushy, because once your labeled it's hard to change what people think of you.. and some men don't take very kindly to being told what do by a woman even if you outrank them ..especially amongst their peers.. you may cause yourself more trouble then it's worth or some sort of angry retaliation..c |
Date: 4/3/2008 4:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 63026
Lol I work in a daycare full of woman, 26 woman, im like the only gu teacher there, there's a guy who works on the eletrician, and the pastor and thats it....I'm use to being told what to do by woman....Just talk to us nicely, use language we can understand, and be polite about what you want done.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 5:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
I've been in that position before and the men I was in charge of resented me from the start. Not because I was a woman they told me, they felt one of them should have got the position. Well after a couple of months of treating them like I would like to be treated and showed them I could work alongside them doing the same as them, we got on fine and we all had a good working relationship. After they could see I could drive a high stacker and fork lift they gave me all the respect and help that I needed....ahhhh they were the days LOL!!!  |
Date: 4/3/2008 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 64414
Just watch how you say things. Avoid the "know it all" attitude and try for a "let's do this right" type of attitude. It is all in the delivery.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 5:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 30747
We must of been seperated at birth.  I've been wanting to post something like this for a long time but didn't dare because I thought I would get pounced on for picking on men when that wouldn't be the intention at all. I work with nothing but men and I'm second in charge. (electrical contracting...I do the office stuff) Part of my job is to hire people and write their paychecks. I also am responsible for inforcing the company rules and have to hold meetings to get my point across and sometimes have to fire them for various reasons. I have held management positions in retail with the same responsibilities and have NEVER been given the attitude that I get from these guys. I'm not so sure it's intentional though. They simply cannot comprehend that I am their boss. I have been called "the office girl" more times than I can count when in fact I am the Vice President of this company dealing with multimillion dollar contracts everyday. In the 7 years I have been there we have hired over 50 men and NONE of them, including the boss, has had a college education...I do. I have a Business degree and an Accounting degree. I worked hard to get where I am. I worked my way through college as a single mother. I was on welfare at one time. Then I get these punk young men treating me like the office slave and the boss calling me his "secretary". I didn't bust my tush for 4 years and spend all that money to be called a "secretary". (not that there is anything wrong with that) I'm not saying I'm better than anyone but I deserve respect for my achomplishments and the work I do every day. I know my boss appreciates me but I really think he feels threatened by my knowledge and does things to bring me down...like scrutinize everything I do to find fault in it. He even once told me where to put a stamp on an envelope. I'm not kidding you. It was like he just then invented the stamp and needed to show me how to use it. I do go off and speak my mind about it sometimes but it goes no where. Everyone backs off like I'm PMSing and is nice to me for a day then back to the old crap. They don't get it at all. I use to be so easy going and fun loving about everything but I had to change into a hard, serious person at work just to be taken seriously and that's not good for me...it extends to my home life as well and my family sees the change. I'm just fed up with this mans world. I just want to earn a decent living and raise my son. I don't care about thier egos. They can think what ever they want, call me anything they want, they can even laugh behind my back for being a silly girl. I write the paychecks and I know how much more money I make than they do and maybe someday if they really want to tick me off I'll show them how a silly girl fires a silly boy. Sorry, I just had to vent. Don't worry about what others are saying about you...just do what ya gotta do.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
Here's how I feel about it. The one in charge (unless nepotism was a huge factor in hiring or promotion) deserves to be in charge for some reason. Skills, knowledge, natural leadership capabilities. If the people underneath your charge don't like it, they can quit or ask to be transferred. Make sure that they know you will not take attitude from them simply because you're a woman.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
Lol SD want to be my twin sister on USM?  |
|
Date: 4/3/2008 6:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
I understand SD. I'm thinking that with males, you have to communicate on their level without losing your feminity or identity. I think that as long as I show them that I can do anything they do (minus 75 pushup in 2 minutes! or hump a 60 lbs pack on my back!!) that I am just as good as they are. |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 12072
ever notice when a man is driven, talented and a high achiever in charge, he's the picture of success..put a woman in the same shoes and she must be a...witch. A coworker and I were talking about that the other day, talking about Hilary Clinton. Because she's successful and wants to take on a "man's" job, she must be a witch with the wrong atatomy (sp?) downstairs. haha.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you don't happen to be wearing a pointed black hat while you're leading the troops, do you?  |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
maybe you should use small words!!  |
Date: 4/3/2008 6:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 63962
OK... I deal with the same irritation, being a guy, that a lot of other guys deal with (as you've noticed apparently! LOL) So my two cents are, (and no offense intended to any ladies, she asked so I'm answering! LOL) is that a lot of men have unresolved forgiveness issues towards women who have hurt them in the past. At least that is what I've learnt it is in my case! And like with any resentment, if you never forgive someone who's wronged you (no matter what gender), I've noticed it snowballs & you get more and more resentful, it gets worse, and just goes from there until possibly *everyone* that resembles that person is the target of your resentment, maybe even if their offense is not what the *original* offense was that started the whole thing. I don't know if that makes sense or not, I tend to ramble and lose people. LOL Anyway, I may sound like a new-age Eastern-religion beatnik, but the only solution I've found to change that is forgiveness, on the part of the person that was wronged. Which isn't always easy or fast, but it has to be done, otherwise it can really affect your life negatively.  |
|
Date: 4/3/2008 7:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
Heckler, had I those powers, I would simply cast a spell and blow the terrorists out of the mountains into a volcano... although the spell would allow that their flesh could burn without being destroyed.... |
Date: 4/3/2008 7:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
So... Godfather, I get what you're saying about the snowball effect... but how does that help me in dealing with men? I can't psycho-analyze them and help them find forgiveness  . |
|
Date: 4/3/2008 7:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 63962
LOL!!!! Good point Jesus Freak. LOL! Unfortunately, seeing as I'm not a female, I fear I really don't have any suggestions, that haven't already been given. LOL Possibly you could attempt to monitor closely your demeanor and ways you address the guys, watch how they react to it, then try to adjust how you address them accordingly. Other than that I'm not sure, I'd have to think about it then post more later if I think of something. LOL |
|
Date: 4/3/2008 7:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 63962
Having said what I said however, I do disagree with the snotty (in place of a worse word) treatment that some men give women. It is VERY unfair, discriminatory and not right. I don't think though that women should assume all (or even most) men are like that! One bad apple does not spoil the whole bunch in this case. LOL |
Date: 4/3/2008 8:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 13190
honestly if a guy was the same way hed be called a jerk cuz im called a lot worse at my job for being the same way so i agree with the disclaimer it works for me  |
Date: 4/3/2008 8:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
I'm the same way in the taking charge department. At work, I always do things myself because I think others will mess it up. I couldn't care less what people think of me, frankly. I know I'm a good worker.  |
Date: 4/3/2008 9:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 61977
This is just my personal opinion. Frankly, we live in a man's world. Women have come a long way, and we would like to think that we have earned our rights to be leaders (which we have). Yet, some men still have issues with this. Sometimes it does not matter how we as women approach it, SOME will always feel as if we are "incapable," or should npt hold such positions, and will at all costs do what they will to "attempt" to get us out of such positions. I have been there and in the military it was especially a huge issue that I had to deal with. It was a "them" against me issue, and mind you they almost won, yet, I did not let that happen. I wish you the best of luck. I hope whatever approach you choose will work for you.  |
Date: 4/4/2008 1:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 21867
...just as people should not confuse driven assertiveness as w-itchiness...people should also not confuse w-itchness as driven assertiveness. Sometimes people are driven and assertive. Sometimes people are w-itchy. Neither has anything to actually do with gender.  |
|
Date: 4/4/2008 3:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 30747
Jesus Freak...I will certainly be your twin. We control freaks shall rule the world. muahhahahha. Thanks for letting me vent on your post. |
|
Date: 4/4/2008 6:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
Its cool SD! I know how it feels to keep it all pent up and then let it go... I really need to vent about some things because if I don't, I supress it and then it floods over to other aspects of my life (kinda like the bulkheads on Titanic) until I just go crazy... So it works. |
Date: 4/4/2008 7:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 63191
Funny how it's a new millenium and men still can't handle women telling them what to do. I think that stems from their upbringing. If they're taught that the men are in charge, they tend to be resistant to female authority figures. I run into that problem every day I work. I just keep in mind that I am the manager, I am in charge and it's their problem if they can't deal with that.  |
