Date: 1/15/2008 9:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 15157
Sometimes it comes to a point where it is as you say...to 'Finally Got the nerve' I have firsthand knowledge of getting separated then divorced (my first marriage). Also your significant other often gets so used to the arguements that it becomes 'first nature' to them and they don`t realize what strain the fighting is applying to the family. Since you say separation...Try getting marriage counciling first to see if anything can be mended in your marriage. Check your local church to see if anything is offered for this. Also he must agree to it...to save your marriage. Good Luck and Be Strong.  |
Date: 1/15/2008 10:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 43991
I wish I knew the words to say to help you, but I'm only 19. I finally got out of a 5 year abusive relationship - and have kept myself out of it (that was MY problem, always going back when he begged me too.) Anyway.. Since I have never been in a marriage or anything, I really can't give you any advice. I can send out my prayers to you though. ((hugs)) I hope you find the answers and strength you need.  |
Date: 1/15/2008 12:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 10657
My advice to you is two things. Since, you are asking for a seperation not a divorce quite yet, I would suggest that you find a realative you can stay with and seek counseling during that time. Never speak bad about the other person in front of the children. When, asked and you will be asked by family or your children why aren't you staying at home simply say, we needed a small break from each other. I am not a marraige guru but, I do know your first words were seperated not I want a divorce. I think it will go a long way in figuring out what the both of you are doing or wanting if, the small trial seperation is there. I wouldn't suggest that you stay in the same house unless, there is a possibility you can still be seperate from each other. I think you should try the counseling however.  |
Date: 1/15/2008 1:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 53013
Sometimes a separation is what it takes. You are not asking for a divorce, and this can be a good thing. My hubby and I went through this and now our marriage is great and everyone is happy. I suggest marriage and family counciling. Staying for the kids sometimes isn't the best thing either, if the fighting stops everyone will be happier. Best of luck to you.  |
Date: 1/15/2008 2:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 21903
I am so sorry you are going through this. I do understand what you are saying, and I feel like you are right. Its not like you brought up the 'D' word yet. Maybe if you two were separated and could maybe try dating (each other) again it might help; or it could make you two realize that it can't work. Either way I hope that things start working out better for you and you can cheer up! I'm here for you if you need to talk things through though. *HUGS*  |
Date: 1/15/2008 3:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 64498
Everyone has made very important and good suggestions and I agree with them all. Separation and Counseling is an important step. Don't back down this is what you need to do. If you give in to him and don't do this things will get worse and you will probably be bitter. Good Luck Baby G Keep us updated! - Bunny  |
Date: 1/17/2008 5:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 13190
you do better for your kids when you do well by yourself  |
6199 Category:(General Advice) Created:(1/15/2008 9:27:00 AM)