Date: 5/5/2006 3:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
ok, few questions before I answer this one. 1. does this other girl have any brothers and sisters? 2. does this other girl (the clingy one) have a boyfriend or seem to have an interest in boys? 3. how well do you know this others girls home life?  |
Date: 5/5/2006 3:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
Typo Demon for question one yes, but I don't think she lives with any of them. For your second question she does not have a boyfriend that I know of, and yes she does have an interest in them. And her home life is not too good as far as I know, considering she lives with her grandma and her grandma is currently in the hospital.  |
Date: 5/5/2006 5:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
Ok here my take then, she is using "Jane" as a Surrogate sister. The being over protective, and clingy isn't a stretch when it comes to sisters. I have 2 older ones, heh I should know  The problem your probably going to run into is if you try to get her to back off, in "Suzie's" mind, "Jane" really is her sister. Trying to get her to back off would like taking a family member away. So I would be careful. At least thats my take on this. |
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Date: 5/5/2006 5:19:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
I can understand that. We don't want her to leave "Jane" alone alll the time, just lighten up a little. But we have no idea how to do that without starting mucho drama. |
Date: 5/5/2006 5:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
Maybe she has a crush on Jane?  |
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Date: 5/5/2006 5:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
I don't get that impression Rika, I think home life is a major factor here, and she's using "Jane" as a surrogate sister. Plus Little Jung mentioned she does have an interest in boys, which is why I asked that question in the first place |
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Date: 5/5/2006 5:27:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
Rika, you aren't the first to suggest that idea. haha. |
Date: 5/5/2006 5:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
i second rika  |
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Date: 5/5/2006 5:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
Typo Demon, some gay people get married and have kids. Just because she's not open about it doesn't make it so. And plus, it was only a suggestion. |
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Date: 5/5/2006 5:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
I know this Rika |
Date: 5/5/2006 6:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
Ok well one thoery is she is gay. Maybe thats not the case but sometimes people feel very helpless when they are left on their own. Like ok dose she make what ever choice Jane makes? cause I think she is insecure and probbly has low self esteam. maybe she is interested in guys and dose have a crush on jane cause some people are bi-sexaul aswell. But I think it is losw self esteam mainly and she is clinging on to jane in fear of haveing to make choices by herself.  |
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Date: 5/5/2006 6:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
It could also be a combo of factors, bad home life, low self esteem, doesn't think boys will like her, so she turns to "Jane" to fill in the blanks. Reguardless, it won't be easy on her to get her to back away. It will hurt her feelings no matter how it is approached |
Date: 5/5/2006 8:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 18406
No no no.....this is just a crush...but not one where she is attracted to her at all. I think this girl has found something in Jane that she can't get at home, like maybe love or supoort or whatever. She doesn't want to lose that. Someone in her past clearly has abandoned her at some point and now she is paranoid about everyone important to her leaving her. She wants Jane to regard her in the same way pretty much. Well at least thats what I think is going on I would just let Jane handle it really, and try to understand Suzie's situation and maybe reach out to her- maybe she just needs more close friends?  |
Date: 5/6/2006 2:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 36352
Yeah sounds like a fatal attraction to me. Be careful with that one he he (laughs nervously). But seriously Jane needs to be clear with her and set some boundaries in order to be fair. Then if she cant deal Jane may have to walk away from the friendship. It sounds to me like this girl has low self esteem and Jane is her confidence (so to speak) she feels like she cant function on her own without Jane. She most like ly has many other problems not yet reveiled, so be careful not to taunt her, but be clear and set boundaries for sure, because otherwise the frustration will build and build until someone explodes on her and she wont have seen it coming.  |
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Date: 5/6/2006 8:24:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
I see what you're all saying. She is kind of big, so that may be the cause of her low self esteem and need to be with her all the time. We don't want to like gang up on her or anything so we haven't done anything, but "Jane" doesn't know how to get it to stop... |
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Date: 5/6/2006 8:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 62998
Are you still in school Little Jung? |
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Date: 5/6/2006 8:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 62998
If you are, you might want to bring this up to your Guideance Counselor. It might be a good thing to have a 3rd party who isn't emotionally involved to intervene |
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Date: 5/6/2006 1:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
Yes I am, and that might work! But my school counselors are lazy and like to do as little as possible. haha. |
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Date: 5/6/2006 1:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 62998
School systems for ya. It's worth a try though |
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Date: 5/6/2006 1:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
I will suggest it to "Jane" and see if she wants to go through with it. haha. Seriously, my school is sooo lazy when it comes to the administrators and such. |
Date: 5/6/2006 7:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 62249
Ok try this: create some sort of situation in which "Suzie" is forced to be seperated from "Jane." You know, like some kind of movie, let's say Saw, where Suzie is trapped in a room with a different kid than Jane, and she has to solve puzzles or something to find her way out, excpet theres no blood, gore, or violence. (Maybe this is a little too inplausible haha) But the way it goes in my head is, the puzzles are so difficult that Suzie and the girl in the room with her have to work together closely. By the time the ordeal is over, Suzie will have forgotten about Jane and now be clinging to the new girl (who you should select based upon their level of tolerance towards clinginess). There you go, problem solved, everyone lives happily ever after.  |
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Date: 5/6/2006 7:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
Haha. That sounds like a LOT of work. haha. But what kind of puzzles are we talking here? |
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Date: 5/6/2006 8:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
It's really starting to sound like she can not make her own dessicions so she clings to Jane. |
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Date: 5/6/2006 8:22:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
That is possibly the reason. I mean, I understand how you want to be with your best friend, but jeez. haha. |
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Date: 5/6/2006 10:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 36352
And maybe Jane really likes her but thinks that you guys dont so shes embarrased to admit it. |
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Date: 5/7/2006 9:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 23101
Never thought about that one. haha. |
