Two true stories from the Butterball Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how to cook a Turkey from the experts:
* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. Awoman called to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still running around outside."
* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without turkey. Arestaurant owner in California wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu
* Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
What's a turkey's favorite song. "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their Age!
What did the turkey say before it got cooked for Thanksgiving dinner? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
Why did the Indian Chief wear so many feathers? To keep his "wigwam".
Why did the pilgrim eat a candle? Because he wasn't very hungry and wanted a light snack.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck himself!
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Tur-KEY.
Keep your eye off the turkey dressing. It makes him blush!!!!
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet, read this on the air. Apparently a letter from a viewer: "I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half, will it take longer to thaw? You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
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. Thanks for sharing! 
